October 23, 2017
Let’s say you’re out for your regular morning jog. You’re a healthy person. You exercise and eat right. You take vitamins and keep a healthy daily routine. But those beans you ate the night before aren’t sitting right. Maybe they were under cooked. Maybe the sauce was past its expiration date. Too bad you are so far from home. Good thing you brought your toilet paper with you.
Or maybe you’re just a disgusting human being.
Click to enlarge and read my hilarious commentary
Yup, a woman in Denver has been serially pooping on people’s lawns. Like a dog would. Except that a dog’s owner would clean it up.
This isn’t a one-time thing. This isn’t someone who had an unforeseen gastrointestinal episode. This is a crappy human being (pun intended) who plans this as part of her routine. She brings toilet paper with her. And the biggest sign this is intentional? She ignores the nearby public restrooms.
I realize that public toilets are often cesspools but there are some parts of the world where people take toilets very seriously.
Why would anyone in their right minds intentionally drop their drawers and publicly poop on other people’s property?
The question is Imponderable. Even for Sherlock Holmes.
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