Tag Archives: American Chopper

Do Not Give This To Your Children (Give This To Your Children)

14 Mar

March 14, 2017

Watching TV is like watching all the worst in life. No, I haven’t been watching American Chopper reruns, I’m talking about commercials. In particular, I’m talking about commercials for medicine. They are so full of disclaimers and legal jargon that I’m not sure if I should ask my doctor or lawyer if I should take something. But if I’m diagnosing myself based on symptoms recited by a talking pink pill, I may have other problems besides an upset stomach. 

I was watching TV when an ad for Linzess came on. As far as made up medicine names go, Linzess is better than Prevnar 13, which they claim is a pneumonia medication but I think is really a planet where Captain Kirk fought the Klingons. 

Linzess is medicine for constipation and belly pain. Yes, it is for “belly” pain and not “stomach” pain. Hey, why use a medical term in a medicine commercial? Check it out here, from the official Linzess website, complete with a cute girl with a backed up dumper:

As I was listening to the commercial I heard a couple of caveats, which I highlighted above.

  • Do not give LINZESS to children who are less than 6 years of age. It may harm them.
  • You should not give LINZESS to children 6 years to less than 18 years of age. It may harm them.

What’s the difference?
Under no circumstances should you give this to kids under 6. Nope, not at all. Don’t do it.
You shouldn’t give it to kids between 6 and 18, but maybe, if you want to, nudge nudge wink wink. We won’t tell.

Why not just say “Do not give Linzess to children who are under eighteen”? Is it OK to take a chance with a 14 year old? It does sort of hint that you can give it to an older kid. After all, you should not buy off-brand frozen fish from the dollar store but people do it all the time. So why not take a shot with your kid’s health?

What is the difference between “do not give” and “you should not give”? 
The question is Imponderable.

This has been Imponderable #134

 

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American Chopper 2016: Presidential Edition

23 Feb

February 23, 2016

tepid 2016

Wow, everything old is new again. It has been a very long time since I did an American Chopper Weekly Rundown, but just like it is time to Make America Great Again, as somebody somewhere keeps saying, it is time to Make Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride Great Again too. And what better way than to bring back one of our all-time favorite blowhards?

Wait, am I talking about Paul Teutul Sr. or Donald Trump?

Frankly, what’s the difference?
-they have both been covered extensively in this blog- weekly rundowns of both American Chopper and The Celebrity Apprentice
-they both yell a lot
-Trump’s hair may or may not be any better than Paul Sr.’s neck beard

Trump also had the pleasure of firing Paul Sr. on The Apprentice, a pleasure I wish we could all have once in our lifetime.

celebrity_apprentice_2012

Anyway, Paul Sr. today publicly made his endorsement for President: Bob Dole, who at age 92 is not running. Upon being informed of that fact, Paul officially endorsed Donald Trump in a video you can find on Trump’s Facebook page, twitter account, and pretty much anywhere else with his name slapped on it. It is understated and subtle, as befits these two quiet and dignified gentlemen.

https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/videos/10156674068880725/

In a video released to Facebook this afternoon, Paul Teutul Sr. urges everyone to vote Trump for president. In the short clip, Paul Sr. is shown in his workshop explaining how he first met Donald Trump on “The Tonight Show” and went on to work for the presidential candidate on “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

Talking about his experience on Trump’s reality show, Teutul says that “nothing but greatness” was expected from him, and that Trump also expects greatness from his family and the people around him.

While pointing at the camera, Teutul says that he believes Trump will make America great again and urges everyone to cast their vote for his former “Apprentice” boss. Trump posted the video on his own official Facebook page this afternoon.

Read More: Paul Sr. From Orange County Choppers Endorses Trump

I only wish I could see the bloopers and alternate takes. I bet he calls Hillary numb nuts and takes unnecessary shots at his son, Paul Jr.

Meanwhile, for another perspective, here is an unnecessary photo of Paul Sr. in a dress from an episode of American Chopper.

I can explain it but I won’t.

PAUL SR DRESS

 

 

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