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And Now For Something Completely Different.

24 Sep

September 25, 2022

It’s-

GENE GENE THE DANCING MACHINE!

Yes my friends, it is the return of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, who has graced this blog four times over the years whenever I had no idea what else to post. But give ol’ Mr. Blog a break- this is the first time since 2017 I’ve posted this, so a whole generation of readers, maybe as many as six of you, are seeing this for the first time. Anyone who saw this before unsubscribed years ago, so odds are, it is new to you! (And yes, Aunt Edwina, despite your court orders, you are still subscribed. I will take you off this mailing list when you send me more heat down in the basement.)

But fear not, Loyal Reader, I have not forgotten you. How can I? My one and only Loyal Reader, inmate #47605, sends me the most delightfully threatening letters. Hoo boy, I hope the parole board keeps you locked up for life. But for the sake of the random off-chance that someone stumbles across this blog and has seen this clip before, I present to you something new!

A framed picture of Sorrell Booke from the Swan Song episode of Columbo.

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February 2022 News Roundup

6 Feb

February 6,2022

I have only one story this month, but it is very important and may save your life.

I had just finished reading a very important article about Kim Kardashian’s cellulite world peace in the New York Post mobile app (their motto: “We’ll Send You Alerts On Whatever We Want”) when I got to the end of the article, the bottom, where all the clickbait articles are, and I saw this:

Mayonnaise? Not on the list.

Good thing I did! I spit out the bite of weed killer sandwich I was about to swallow because maybe weed killer is one of the three deadliest poisons I never, ever, want to ingest. Now I may be willing to take my chances with the fourth or fifth deadliest poison (and number 10? Ha! I laugh at you, great-tasting arsenic) but the top three? Hey, momma only raised one idiot, and she tells me I’m not it, despite being an only child. I’m not messing with one through three.

But the article begs the question, which deadly poisons do I want to ingest? Are there many poisons that it is OK to ingest, or at least not bad? If I had a hankering to drink a glass of toxic snake venom, is that wrong? Should I not do that? Could I have a slice of delicious salmonella?

Well, I’m sorry, but the world may never know since I never did click on that link. I was too busy trying to find out if that’s Peter Dinklage in the Beastie Boys No Sleep Till Brooklyn video.

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