Advertisements
Archive | current events RSS feed for this section

Imponderable #135: Attack Of The Gay Baboon

6 Jul

July 6, 2017

If the news coming out of Africa is to be believed, it is a dangerous part of the world.

There are more, and I haven’t even mentioned the giant poisonous snails. So with all this in mind, read this next story and perhaps reconsider your travel plans.

click to enlarge

Gay baboon? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The issue here isn’t the baboon’s sexuality at all. If he’s happy then good for him. The problem is that he is sexually assaulting humans. And that’s an important point because it brings us to the Imponderable.

From the animals point of view, is sex with humans bestiality?
The question is Imponderable.

But no, no, we are not done with this story, not by a longshot. Because this is also:

The baboon has given all its victims anal cancer. That’s extraordinary! Sexually transmitted cross-species cancer!

So to recap, going to Africa may put you in danger of having your penis and/or panties stolen, running across a formerly dead hooker, losing your finger to an enchanted ring, encountering poisonous giant snails, and getting sexually transmitted simian anal cancer.

The African tourism board didn’t mention any of that!

 

.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Imponderable #134: Faster, Squirrel! Kill! Kill!

30 Jun

June 30, 2017

This is the first of two editions of the Imponderable that The Editors and Staff call Wild Kingdom Animal Antics. (It gives us an excuse to come up with a new logo.) We’ve featured some bizarre animal stories in the past, but these are in a class by themselves. 

The source for this story is not a site I am familiar with but if this is true then we have a brand new super-villain on our hands. The odds of it being true are about nil to one, but hey, that’s what makes a good story. 

click to enlarge

In a nutshell, so to speak, a guy’s animal trainer ex-gf trained a pack of squirrels to attack him. And like you’d expect, the squirrels went for his nuts. But as I said above, we have the makings of a super-villain here. “She was partially hidden behind some bushes, but I could clearly see her and hear her. She was yelling orders at the squirrels and telling them to attack me.” 

This guy was just proof of concept. Having established that squirrels can be trained to attack, I’m sure the next step for her is to train them to rob banks. How long will it be until she has them hacking the U.S. Presidential election?

I admit up front (OK, at the end) that I don’t believe this for a single second. But who cares? 

Is this story more or less real than anything you see on CNN?
The question is Imponderable.

 

And thank you Jimbo for bringing this to my attention!

 

.

%d bloggers like this: