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Amos And His Last Stand

13 Aug

August 13, 2021

Before we begin what may be our last Amos adventure, an explanation is in order.

One thing I never do in this blog is lie. Everything I say happened, actually happened. I may exaggerate, I may highlight or downplay certain things, and I certainly write for comedic effect, but if I say something happened, it happened. And if I say something was said, it was said.

But for this particular blog, I am going to present, completely unaltered, and in his own, exact words, a story about Amos, by Amos, from an official report turned in on a case by Amos.

What I will present are pages 8, 9, and 10 of a ten-page report. Pages 1 – 7 and half of page 8 are irrelevant to this story, concerning a case he was working on and which I of course cannot present. The last paragraph of page 10 is also irrelevant, being specific case issues.

The background is that Amos was investigating an alleged accident where someone claims to have fallen down a flight of stairs. He was accompanied by the super of the building, whose name I have changed to Orson. Orson had been an obstacle, angry and uncooperative, even obstructing the investigation since it appeared that this accident may have also exposed a little scam Orson had going on the side. The events below happened just after the official part of the investigation had ended.

I remind you that the paragraphs below are part of the official case file of this matter, subject to subpoena and legal scrutiny at any time.

As our story begins, Amos is looking at Orson’s cell phone, trying to figure out how to email a video to the office….

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PAGE 8

I looked hard at the phone trying to see if I could do anything, but it was hard to figure out even though I’ve done plenty of email forwards as our office knows.

I then said OK, we’ll figure something out and we agreed on rescheduling his interview for another day. I then thanked him for his time, extended my hand in a handshake, and Orson left me like that for a good long while and he finally said, “we’re good.”

However, before I left, he asked if I wanted to use the bathroom which I really had to do. He then went down a corridor some 40 feet turned on the bathroom light,

PAGE 9

came back and said go ahead. I then went to the bathroom and finished doing number 1. I turned about to leave the bathroom and tripped and almost fell due to a plastic soap bottle on the bathroom floor on the side by the door. When I left the bathroom, I left the bathroom light on otherwise the corridor would be too dark to navigate.

On the way back I thought to myself not to mention this as I didn’t want to make an issue of it with Orson’s attitude. However, when I got back to the kitchen area, Orson walked past me not saying anything and went back down to the bathroom, thinking he maybe wanted to spot the bathroom light.

It turned out Orson came back with that plastic soap bottle (he must have heard me tripping) gave me a nasty look and went to the sink to rinse off the bottle. I then told him I didn’t want to make an issue of it but now told him I tripped and almost fell over that soap bottle that was on the bathroom floor.

PAGE 10

Rather than expecting an apology, Orson had the nerve to ask something smells and did I take a krap? (sic) I said definitely not, only did pee pee, flushed and that’s all. I was really taken aback!

Feeling quite upset, I felt I had the right to ask Orson friendly but firmly, is there a problem? He wouldn’t answer and said again leave. Not wanting any confrontation, I said nothing further and left! I really don’t know what Orson’s problem is, embarrassing me and insulting me like that!

____________________________________________________________________________________

I repeat, that’s an official report.

My Review of Darth Vader #12 by Marvel Comics

5 Jun

June 5, 2021

Darth Vader #12, published this month by Marvel Comics, written by Greg Pak with art by Guiu Vilanova, is a Star Wars comic focusing on Darth Vader and is set just after The Empire Strikes Back. This issue is also a War of The Bounty Hunters tie-in.

The War of The Bounty Hunters begins when Boba Fett is ambushed and his bounty of the frozen-in-carbonite Han Solo is stolen on its way to Jabba the Hutt. The bounty is so high, and Solo has so many enemies, that a war has broken out among the bounty hunters of the galaxy to be the one to deliver him to Jabba and collect, or to be the one to kill Solo.

This issue begins with the aftermath of the storyline currently running in the title. Vader had dared to challenge the Emperor and received a painful beating in return. It also somehow shoehorns in the fleet the Emperor is building at Exegol, in a vain attempt to somehow make the The Rise of Skywalker relevant.

While recovering, Vader has a flashback to the first time he saw Han Solo in person and learned the name of the man who shot his TIE fighter in the Death Star trench.

Vader has used the vast resources of the Empire and his own fearsome Force abilities to track the Millennium Falcon to the planet Corellia. There, Vader tracks the ship to a docking bay and with his lightsaber…

…kills the owner of a ship parked across the street from the Millennium Falcon.

You see, there were two identical ships parked a few yards away from each other, and somehow, someway, goofy ol’ Vader was confused!

Han then reasoned that if a lummox like Vader could be flummoxed by two identical ships, then a dozen identical ships would totally addle his brain and they could escape while Vader stood there twiddling his lips.

And you know what? He was right.

We were next treated to my favorite page in the entire issue, a sequence of Darth Vader standing in line and dealing with bureaucracy at the Corellia DMV.

(FUN TIME! Copy and paste this Spoiler Alert to the top of this page where I should have put it to begin with.)

Spectacular writing like this must have fantastic art to match, and this art almost meets the heights of the writing. It actually isn’t bad at all but it is ruined by the colorists (color is credited to Dean White with Giada Marchisio) who insist on heavy use of black to the point of making even the brightest scene appear to be set in a coal mine. (This is not a problem in only this issue, the entire line of Star Wars comics suffers from this. Does the editor think this looks good?)

However, I do have to criticize artist Guiu Vilanova for this one. in the panel above where Vader and Solo lock eyes, the artist has switched their positions and they are looking away from each other. The two previous panels had Solo on the left, Vader on the right. Vilanova, for no reason I can see, has flipped their positions and now they do not even appear to be looking at each other!

Now compare it to this quick edit I made.

Not only does it retain the positioning of the first two panels, now with their eyes locked there is drama in the panel. I honestly do not see any advantage to the panel as published. This is a moment that needs more drama. Guiu Vilanova is a competent artist with his panels being technically solid, but his panel to panel continuity doesn’t flow well, with most panels seeming to stand alone from the other panels with no sense of movement from one to the other. I see no better demonstration of this than his poor choice of layout above.

I don’t read comics much anymore but I was curious about Vader and Han’s first meeting. I was disappointed.

MY RATING: DO NOT BUY.

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