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STARTING THIS WEEK: THE 5 MEMES OF CHRISTMAS

25 Nov

November 25, 2020

It’s nearly Thanksgiving, and you know what that means- IT’S OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS!

Yes, the most fantabulous time of the year! Get out your kapdabblers and smendlers!

Look at them all, through the darkness I’m bringing.

They’re not sad at all. They’re actually singing!

They sing without juicers. They sing without blenders.

They sing without flungers, kapdabblers and smendlers!

– Mr. Burns. What, you thought that was Seuss? Simpsons, when it was funny.

So what the Holy Holiday Ham is The 5 Memes of Christmas? Well I’m not telling you.

Who am I kidding OF COURSE I’ll tell you! It’s Christmas! Every Friday starting this Friday I’ll bring you a Classic TV Great Moment in Santa History, and it all leads up to the unveiling of the ALL NEW 2020 FONZIE CHRISTMAS MEME! You know you loved the last three, you’ll go GA-GA-GAZOOKS for this year’s Fonzerelli Fumetti! (Copywrite me just now. Don’t steal that.) Here’s a sample:

And that’s only a preview so know it’s the least funny one! It only gets better from here folks! IT HAS TO! Be here this Friday or else you will not be here this Friday!

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Sure She’s Beautiful, But What About Those Pants?

27 Aug

August 27, 2020

You what I like about Facebook? No, really, I mean it. Tell me, what the heck do I like about that thing? I dunno.

Anyway, an ad popped up on Facebook and interrupted my perusal of posts in the very engaging and thought-provoking  Brony Costume Tips I mean Jean-Paul Sartre Critical Analysis group. It was a UPS ad. And being the kind of guy I am, I actually looked at the comments in a United Parcel Service advertisement.

Be honest- you didn’t notice that I cut off most of the text, did you?

The comments fell into two basic categories:

  1. UPS SUCKZ!
  2. That girl is hot! Who is she?

This was probably not a good spend of the UPS ad budget.

Well, like any good husband I’m terrified of my wife, so I didn’t make a comment one way or the other on the hot-or-not-ness of the girl. I also didn’t comment on the general suckitude of UPS, but that was just out of sheer not-caringitude. (Longtime readers may recall that I was formerly an English teacher, though you couldn’t tell that from the last sentences.)

But I kept scrolling through the comments as frankly it was more interesting than the Brony costume sewing advice I mean Jean-Paul Sartre debate I had been reading. And as I kept scrolling, more interesting comments came up. A debate began to rage about her pants. What’s up with those shiny rubber Hammer pants?

That’s all I want to know now. What’s up with those pants? It’s got to be some exercise thing, right? Like you work out in those really warm and heavy pants that don’t breath and you sweat a lot and eventually you melt the pounds away due to sheer disgusting body fluid loss?

What’s up with those pants???

 

 

 

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