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Mr. Blog’s New Year’s Pledge

1 Jan

January 1, 2017

As the new year begins, The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (“Home of The Nearly OK Blog”) would like to reaffirm our commitment to you, our cherished, devoted readers.

blog-pledge-2017

“It is my pledge to you, the reading public, that I shall neither shirk nor shrink from my responsibilities, whatever they may be, and will uphold the standards, high or not, of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride. In this I am sure, though perhaps not as sure as I could be.” -Mr. Blog

 

 

Mr. Blog’s Party Advice (Imponderable #133)

27 Dec

December 27, 2016

happy-new-year

Dear Mr. Blog:

I am throwing a big New Year’s Eve soiree and I am inviting the crème de la crème of society. Nearly the entire Wayne Rogers Junior High marching band will be there! But I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. I don’t want to be a laughingstock at my next algebra club meeting. 

How is a combination of cake and ice cream to be served? On a dessert plate or in a bowl? How is it eaten? Fork or spoon? Is it ever proper to eat from a plate with a spoon?

HELP!

(Signed) Bruin Z. Othello, AKA Myron from the Block


Dear Myron

This is just the sort of letter I’d toss in the trash over to Mr. Know-It-All’s desk but he’s been locked in the men’s room since last week. However, Myron, I found a good substitute. This is an actual answer to your question from Miss Manners. Yes, she is still alive… sort of.

GENTLE READER: Have you ever tried to eat ice cream with a fork?

You needn’t. Contrary to what many people believe, Miss Manners assures you that etiquette is not out to trick you. When dessert is both textured and runny or gooey, both a spoon and a fork should be available.

It would also be too much of a challenge to have to eat cake from a bowl. The ice cream is properly placed on top of the cake, so that any melting will be absorbed before getting to the plate.

“Too much of a challenge to have to eat cake from a bowl”??? Seriously? Miss Manners’ dictionary must have a different meaning of the word “challenge” than mine does.

Is it too hard to put the cake in a bowl, plop some ice cream on top of it, and eat it all with a spoon? If you can’t eat a piece of cake with a spoon and need to break out a fork to do some heavy lifting, you are A: serving the wrong kind of cake or B: clearly doing something wrong with your life.

Myron, what kind of a person can’t figure this one out?
The question is Imponderable.

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And in case anyone was wondering, that was an actual letter to Miss Manners from just last week. Sigh, I weep for the world. Somewhere in Europe there are starving kids who would eat a piece of cake with their bare hands out of a tiger’s mouth and people here worry about which utensil to use? This is why I hate people.

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