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American Chopper- Pimpin’ for The Man

4 Sep

September 4, 2021

Mr. Blog is not a paid attorney spokesman, but Paul Teutul Sr. Is.

I used to do recaps of American Chopper every week, eventually live-blogging it as it aired. It’s a part of this blog that I’d rather forget. I am sure that watching that show killed more brain cells than if I had a motorcycle accident. But if I did have a motorcycle accident, I’m sure Paul Teutul Sr.- non-lawyer paid spokesperson – could recommend one.

Or three.

Or five.

How many lawyers does Paul Sr. shill for?

All the lawyers!

Behold the withering glower of Paul Teutul Sr.!

Those are not all the firms I found. I could have gone on and on. They shuffled lawyers in and out of the studio to stand next to the fading physique of Paul Sr., stopping just long enough for Sr. to stand and glower and (probably) call his son “numb nuts” a few times while the cameras filmed a few seconds to make it look like Sr. had some clue of the names of the people next to him.

This says less about Paul Sr. than it does for the lawyers, all of whose firms are not independent at all but part of a legal referral network that sends your case to a local law firm depending on your location.

Paul Sr. has likely not spent more than ten minutes with any of those people. That’s OK, after watching season after season of American Chopper, I can guess that Sr. had a massage appointment to get to.

Great Moments In Comic Book History: Darkhawk #27 (Marvel, May 1993)

16 Aug

August 16, 2021

With Marvel relaunching 90’s hero Darkhawk, I thought it was a good opportunity to revisit an issue of his first series, from 1993.

Darkhawk issue 27 is a team-up with the New Warriors, themselves a team created in the boom-era 1990’s. This is the second part of a storyline called Shattered Fates, in which Zarrko, a bald, paunchy time-traveling villain who is inexplicably dressed in the same green jumpsuit Dr. Octopus wears, has offered the heroes to go back in time and fix some wrong of their choosing in exchange for helping him in some vague plan of his to save the future.

Zarrko is a time traveler, much like Kang the Conqueror (who also wears green. Hmmm…) He is attended by his fearsome thug, Servitor. How fearsome is he? Check this out.

That slice of pizza never stood a chance.

What better way to show your power, your awesome might, to intimidate your opponents and forestall all defiance than to vaporize a slice of cold pizza that has displeased your master?

This is why Kang is the baddie of the next wave of the MCU and not Zarrko.

Darkhawk 27 was written by Danny Fingeroth, penciled by Tod Smith, inked by Chris Ivy, colored by Troy Sayers, and lettered by Bill Oakley. Pizza by Original Rays Pizza.

And as a side note, look how awed the heroes are in the last panel. I bet The Avengers would not have been one bit impressed.

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