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Allan Keyes Found The Best Picture Ever!

11 Feb

February 11, 2018

Hi kids! Sorry I’ve been away so long, but things are busy as ever at chez Keyes. Wife. Kids. Diapers. Poop. Not to mention the kid’s diapers and poop. OK, I’m kidding. I’m not that old, I just feel that way.

The other day I was doing research on the internet trying to figure out why I’m not one of these new bitcoin millionaires. I’ve narrowed it down to the fact that I have no idea what a bitcoin is or how to get one.

But I did find THE BEST PICTURE EVER! It appeals to EVERYONE!

TRUMP SUPPORTERS: See? He’s not a racist.
TRUMP HATERS: See? He’s a HUGE racist!
TRUE RACISTS: HA! Look at that #$*(ing &%# in the hat!
WWE FANS: That’s The Reverend Slick!

In case you don’t know who Slick is, take a look at this, his official music video, Jive Soul Bro:

 

That picture of Trump may not change your mind about him but I think we can all agree that the WWE ought to be ashamed of itself.

I’ll end with some of my patented bad Photoshop featuring my favorite foodie:

Happy Black History Month!

 

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Hello Happy To Read Consumer! New Selection of 2018!

8 Jan

January 8, 2018

Who doesn’t like cheesy Japanese toys? And who doesn’t love the awful translations that come with them? 

Hello happy to read consumer! As year of the new 2018 twelve months begin, it is our honor most humble and specialized that we produce our New Selection for you to investigate and think of.

Market Research team work overtime at desks of night to know what is and could have been the item that all want of all ages. Gorillas! Supers Hero! Magic and Ninja! Packaging! Of these we choose and pick choice of selection most wondrous to sell in profit centers of commerce in your town and prefecture.

BEHOLD THE NEW!

UNIVERSAL HERO VS. SUPER GORILLA 

universal hero vs super gorilla 1

Allow children to be zoo keeper of SUPER GORILLA and play with simian lust and urge! Picture on package nearly match toy! SUPER!

To be clear of fact, child must be tall or larger age to play with. Four UNIVERSAL HERO OF UNIVERSE have swords to play, some with cape too, no wash?

Gather flock to store and market to purchase UNIVERSAL HERO VS. SUPER GORILLA. It is sure to be the diamond of jewel in your collection of toys in the forthcoming weather. 

 

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