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Should I Be Worried About Alec Baldwin?

8 Nov

November 8, 2021

Poor Alec Baldwin. He’s “inconsolable,” he’s “hysterical,” he’s so distraught that he and his family have recently been seen house hunting and drinking expensive latte in Vermont coffee houses. His wife has been so miserable that she has been posting happy family portraits on Instagram of Alec and the kids playing in the snow.

Poor Alec! He must feel so terrible since he, you remember, recklessly killed a woman in cold blood.

Poor poor man! On that movie set, he was handed a gun, and all he did was check to see if it was loaded, no I mean handle it safely with his finger off the trigger, no that’s not right, he aimed a gun at a human being and pulled the trigger. Yeah, I think that’s what I mean.

Oh, sad Alec! I know how horrible this made you feel, and I know how upsetting this must be, and yes, this is all very traumatic for you.

Of course, there’s a dead woman whose family won’t be spending the holidays with her, but hey! Buck up, buddy!

When did Alec Baldwin become a victim and not a victimizer? He’s a Producer on that film. He is one of the people responsible for the overall safety on that set. The buck stops with him. And of course, he carelessly, recklessly, and very, very stupidly aimed the gun at another human being and pulled the trigger. On top of not checking to see if it was loaded. He broke every rule of gun safety and common sense.

But cheer up, pal! The media is rallying around you, Alec! They are printing stories of how this has affected you, of how you are never going to be the same. They are rooting for you, Alec old boy!

Hey, that dead woman will never be the same either, but don’t despair, Alec! Everyone loves you Alec Baldwin!

You goddam asshole.

Should I be worried about Alec Baldwin? Only if he has a gun in his hand.

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Zipcar Sucks. Period.

20 Jun

June 20, 2021

Zipcar is a car sharing service in which you rent a car and pick it up at a public location, usually a parking lot. I’ve used them three times and it has been a problem every single time.

TRIP 1. There was no car available in my area so I had to book one a twenty minute ride away. I wasn’t too upset (yet) since Zipcar would reimburse me for the cost of my trip. So to be clear, I was taking an Uber to get to the car I rented. (Problem #1.) But when I got to the public municipal lot the car was parked in, it wasn’t there. So I had to take another, half hour, ride to another Zipcar even further away. And when I retuned the car to that location, I had a now 40 minute Uber ride back home. Convenient? NOT.

TRIP 2. I managed to book a car in a location only a short walk away. Sound good? Yes. Smell good? No. The car was filthy and stunk like someone had eviscerated an antelope in the back seat.

How did it look? Judge for yourself.

So I called Zipcar and they gave me two options. I could get another car, with the very minor caveat that the only other available car was in another borough, or I could run this one through a car wash and they would reimburse me.

Screw that, I am not doing their work for them. I shoved the trash in the trunk (let Zipcar worry about it) and drove around with the windows open. After only three hours it was breathable in there.

TRIP 3. Today is Father’s Day and knowing it would be hard to get a car, I rented one close by three weeks in advance. And two days before the trip, I got notified that due to an issue with the car, I was being switched to a car a half hour trip away. What was wrong with the car? I don’t know. I called customer support to complain and the guy on the other end, who was clearly simply reading from a script, informed me, through a thick internationally outsourced accent, that the car was unavailable due to, well, I don’t know. Unless the car really did have schmegma dripping out of the tailpipe, I couldn’t understand him. And that is not the worst part. That’s when I got to the car and it would not unlock. Since Zipcar has no physical rental locations to get keys they do everything over their app, including sending a signal to unlock the car. Oh, there are keys, they are just locked inside the car until Zipcar sends the unlock signal. And this car would not unlock. So I called customer support and they could not unlock it, and they had no one that could, you know, show up with a key and unlock it, and of course, this being Father’s Day there was not a single car available at all.

Yes, I called customer support and ranted and raved, and yes, I spoke to a “supervisor” (who may have been the same guy, I swear they sounded so much alike) and no, I accomplished nothing except I got to use “ugotz” on a recorded call, which has been a goal of mine for quite some time.

So, no I am not spending this Father’s Day with my family. SCREW YOU, ZIPCAR.

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