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Tom Brokaw Is An Old Fart

4 Oct

October 4, 2017

Tom Brokaw, though semi-retired, is still one of America’s most respected journalists. He anchored the NBC news for 22 years from 1982 to 2004. He’s covered every major story and worked on every major newscast spanning three decades. He’s written books and produced documentaries. He is very well-respected.

He’s also a cranky old man. 

How else to explain the following “you kids stay off my lawn-style rant”? Brokaw has a short commentary series that airs on certain radio stations across the country. It is known as both An American Story and The Brokaw Report. The segments are less than a minute long and the topics are whatever is rattling around in his dusty head. In the segment below, Tom registers his disgust and offense at the apparently brand new to him trend of people wearing ripped jeans. Listen to this and try not to laugh at his righteous, moral outrage.

Click here to listen to Premium Prices for Torn Jeans Are an Insult to the Impoverished.  Go ahead, it is only 39 seconds. 

“It is poverty chic mocking the poor.”

It really seems as though poor Tom has just begun seeing this brand new fad of “mostly women” wearing ripped jeans. I can’t wait for him to discover crocs. But he really believes that wearing torn jeans is, somehow, an affront, an insult, a spit right in the face of poor people. He really is out of touch. He seriously sees it as people playing dress up as poor people. He thinks poverty cosplay is a thing.

Plus he still says “trousers.” The last person I remember casually using the word “trousers” in normal conversation was Mr. Armour, my third-grade teacher, but he gets a pass since he was in his 70’s. In the 1970’s.

Poor Tom Brokaw, worried about all the sad, offended poor folks with their broken hearts and hurt feelings at the sight of a hipster in torn jeans. 

Notice his perfectly unwrinkled trousers, even when slumming with the poor folk.

Lest you think this is just an isolated incident and I’m blowing Tom’s old man cred out of proportion, here are the titles of some of his other rants.

  • The Miracle of Flight Might Not Seem That to People Who Fly Everyday
  • There’s Nothing I Enjoy More Than Spoiling My Grandkids
  • Prediction: Department Stores Will Downsize to Kiosks
  • Email Is A Wonder, But Is Too Often Abused

I’m sure you think I made up the spoiling grandkids one but I didn’t. 

And also, congrats to Fancy Ol’ Me! This was the first time I used the word “lest” in a blog post. Probably the last too, unless I turn into my own version of Tom Brokaw.

Does this look like a man who is out of touch with the poor?

 

 

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A Real Halloween Trick

1 Oct

October 1, 2017

It’s October 1st and this is it: Halloween is on the way. Think about it. The weather is turning chilly. The days are getting shorter. The ghouls and goblins are creeping closer and everyone is getting ready for Trick or Treating. Costumes! Candy! Greeting cards!

Greeting cards?

Yes greeting cards. It’s nothing new. Go into your local Rite Aid/Walgreen’s/CVS (there’s one on every block) and you’ll see something like this:

Who wants one of these? Since when is Halloween a card-giving holiday? It’s beyond me. Halloween is for going out and having fun. It’s in no way a religious holiday. It isn’t one to be marked and memorialized with a card lovingly signed by Aunt Bess (sorry Aunt Bess) wishing little Sean a happy day. But greeting cards, like all print products, are dying so the card companies are making everything a greeting card holiday. And that includes St. Patrick’s Day, whose tradition is beer, beer, and more beer, to the point that you can’t read a greeting card anyway.

SEAN O’CASEY: Ay, look ‘ere mates! A St. Patrick’s Day card from my dear sainted Aunt Bess!
PATRICK DOYLE: What’s it say, Sean me lad?
SEAN O’CASEY: It says “Wishing you-” BLEARRRGH!
PATRICK DOYLE: That’s a grand amount of Guinness decorating me boots, Sean me lad.

I’ll be man enough to admit that really little kids may like a card with a skeleton or ghost on it, but if you’re giving a kid over 12 years old a card, you’ve got to reevaluate how are living your life.

 

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