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Should I Be Worried About Alec Baldwin?

8 Nov

November 8, 2021

Poor Alec Baldwin. He’s “inconsolable,” he’s “hysterical,” he’s so distraught that he and his family have recently been seen house hunting and drinking expensive latte in Vermont coffee houses. His wife has been so miserable that she has been posting happy family portraits on Instagram of Alec and the kids playing in the snow.

Poor Alec! He must feel so terrible since he, you remember, recklessly killed a woman in cold blood.

Poor poor man! On that movie set, he was handed a gun, and all he did was check to see if it was loaded, no I mean handle it safely with his finger off the trigger, no that’s not right, he aimed a gun at a human being and pulled the trigger. Yeah, I think that’s what I mean.

Oh, sad Alec! I know how horrible this made you feel, and I know how upsetting this must be, and yes, this is all very traumatic for you.

Of course, there’s a dead woman whose family won’t be spending the holidays with her, but hey! Buck up, buddy!

When did Alec Baldwin become a victim and not a victimizer? He’s a Producer on that film. He is one of the people responsible for the overall safety on that set. The buck stops with him. And of course, he carelessly, recklessly, and very, very stupidly aimed the gun at another human being and pulled the trigger. On top of not checking to see if it was loaded. He broke every rule of gun safety and common sense.

But cheer up, pal! The media is rallying around you, Alec! They are printing stories of how this has affected you, of how you are never going to be the same. They are rooting for you, Alec old boy!

Hey, that dead woman will never be the same either, but don’t despair, Alec! Everyone loves you Alec Baldwin!

You goddam asshole.

Should I be worried about Alec Baldwin? Only if he has a gun in his hand.

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Pumpkin Pickin’ Pukin’ Pumpkins

27 Oct

An Allan Keyes Klassic from October 29, 2012, republished on October 27, 2021

Happy Halloween everyone! It’s that magical day of the year when we can dress up as superheros, act like panhandlers, and stuff our faces with candy all at the same time! Just a tip though, the rumors are not true – McDonalds does not give out cheeseburgers to trick-or-treaters . Those bastards!

Anyway, have a great night out eating other people’s candy! Now here’s some twisted Jack-O-Lanterns!

Fun With Teh Internets:  PUKING PUMPKINS!

Allan Keyes’ favorite!

BONUS SEARCH: Cannibal Pumpkins.
The little guy looks so happy, doesn’t he?

And for some reason, this came up in the search…..

Wait till you see my selection of inappropriate Santas for Christmas…… 😉

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