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Game Night Will Never Be The Same

1 Aug

August 1, 2020

I’m on Facebook because, let’s face it, I’m just as bad as you. So as I was scrolling down my feed, this ad for a new game came by.

I did not click on that link. Last time I clicked on a random link it only took three minutes before some Ukrainian gangster stole my identity. For all you wondering, this is why in the summer of 2018 this blog suddenly became

Рік грошей містера Блогу, яким ви їдете (Rik hroshey mistera Blohu, yakym vy yidete).*

Anyway, it’s a game that let’s you play as your dog! I have no idea how that can be any fun at all, but that has to be tons of fun, right? RIGHT??? After all, just think of all the great things your dog does: 

  • sleeps
  • eats
  • poops
  • sniffs butts
  • poops
  • eats
  • sleeps

OK, I know what you are thinking, “Mr. Blog, come on. that’s your life. Everyday, to a T.” Well, yeah, you got me. Add in some night terrors and random sweating and yep, that’s my life. 

But now I can have another life, my dog’s life. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I don’t own a dog, but so what? Who doesn’t want to be a dog? Except, everybody, I mean. Don’t get me started on cat owners.

Well, when this game popped up on my feed I have to be honest and say that my first response was very funny but not particularly in good taste. (No, it was not a shih tzu joke.) So if you want to read the joke, you will have to run it through Google Translate. And if you do, don’t blame me. I warned you. It may be tasteless but it is funny….

Чудово! Тепер я можу нарешті стукнути цю суку по сусідству! (Chudovo! Teper ya mozhu nareshti stuknuty tsyu suku po susidstvu!)

I should probably warn you that my response was NSFW. I should have probably have warned you earlier but hey, I’ll just blame that on the Ukranian gangster again. Is it any better if I tell you that I meant “bitch” as in a female dog? 

Клацніть посилання та направляйте гроші в колишній радянський синдикат. (Klatsnitʹ posylannya ta napravlyayte hroshi v kolyshniy radyansʹkyy syndykat).*

* Feel free to run this through Google Translate too

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Time To Retire An Old Joke

25 Jul

July 25, 2020

The longest running joke on this blog is one no one ever noticed. It is subtle and has been running forever, right in plain sight.

I often refer to The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride as if there is an actual staff behind this site. However, as is often the case, I did it with a dash of self-deprecating humor. I intentionally incorrectly wrote it as The Editor’s and Staff, inserting an apostrophe where it wasn’t needed. This was not a typo. I did it all the time. These are actual screencaps from old posts.

 

The joke was that the Editors could not have been doing a very good job if they didn’t even notice an error in their own title.

Now I said I did that all the time, but not every time. Sometimes I felt it wasn’t appropriate or the extra gag wasn’t needed.

Here’s the thing: no one ever noticed. Or maybe they did but just didn’t bother to point out the obvious mistake. Therefore, the time has come to retire this old joke.  

Don’t worry, I have plenty of other old jokes. Some of you might even find one or two of them funny. (I’m looking at you, Great Aunt Edwina. I haven’t heard from you or your sewing circle, the Newkirk Needles, since the last time you tried to get me to stop squatting in your attic.) 

 

 

 

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