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Top Ten Horror Movies You Can Make At Home During Lockdown

12 Jul

July 12, 2020

Bored at home? Kids have nothing to do? Here are some horror movies you can make right now from your home while you can’t go out.

10- The Black Mold… In Your Basement!

9- Curse of The Invisible Toilet Paper

8-The Masked Ones

7- The Poisoned Air

6- Non-Essential Horror!

5- No Shows Left to Binge!

4- No Work and No Play Makes Jack Bored… To Death!

3- Governor Cuomo’s Real Life Nursing Home Massacre

2- Don;’t Go Out of The House

1- The Frozen Thing in The Back of Your Freezer

 

 

 

Imponderable #138: One Man’s Emergency

13 Jun

June 13, 2020

As I write this, New York has yet to begin its reopening from the coronavirus. We are in the grip of riots and looting that are being committed nightly. We are also enduring the mayorship of Bill “HAHAHAHA I thought I could be President” De Blassio.

Through this people have to endure, though personal tragedy and heartbreak still occur to all of us. Take this man. This is a true story.

I was in Walgreen’s today, a pharmacy. I heard (as did everyone else in the back of the store) a man, calmly but loudly, discussing with the pharmacist a medicine he desperately needed.

“I need my prescription! This is an antifungal cream. I put it on my penis every day!”

Yeah. He said that out loud.

The pharmacist, in a much quieter, more discrete voice, explained that it was too soon to refill the prescription.

“I need it. I use a lot of it!”

How’d the guy look? Schlubby to be honest.  7 out of 10 on the schlub scale. Did he look like a man who would need antifungal penis cream? That’s for better minds than I to determine. 

Why would a man need so much antifungal penis cream?

The question Is Imponderable. 

Disgustingly, disquietingly Imponderable.

 

 

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