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Fall 2019 Short Story 1

7 Sep

September 7, 2019

The days are getting shorter, nights are getting chilly. Time for a story.


 

It was such a pretty kitten, so pretty. Lindsey wanted to pet it, to stroke it with her fingers, but…

Why couldn’t she? She was so tired, oh so tired. She wanted to lift her arms, to reach out, to touch the pretty little kitten. But she was oh so tired, and her arms hurt so much…

It was grey, she thought, grey, maybe, with white spots? It was hard to tell. The light was dim, and her eyes just couldn’t see well. Why was it so hard to see?

Pretty little kitty, sitting there, just a few feet from the bed. It was making a little mess, lapping up the water with its tongue, getting little spots on its fur.

Who gave it water? Lindsey could almost recall, then could not. Little kitty, getting all wet. Couldn’t they put that water in a bowl?

She wanted to lift her head, to see if the kitty had spilled the water but she couldn’t. And the effort made her so dizzy.

Oh little kitty, could you come here? I don’t know where I am anymore. Why is that puddle on the floor? That dripping… Oh, it’s so dark…

… I almost fell asleep, kitty, here you are, lying on my chest. I’ve never seen a cat with red fur. All around your mouth. I, I oh, I’m so tired. I was sure this would be faster…

… sweet kitty, giving me kitty kisses… I’ll miss you, I think…

 

And the little kitten licked Lindsey all over her face, leaving little trails of Lindsey’s own blood up and down her cheek.

 

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In Honor of the Great State of Virginia

9 Feb

February 10, 2019

It seems like the state of Virginia is in a state of chaos nowadays.

First, Governor Ralph Northam was found to have posed in blackface in his med school yearbook.

Next, his Lt. Governor, Justin Fairfax, has been accused of sexual assault and rape.

Then, Attorney General Mark Herring, third in line for Governor, admitted that he too had appeared in blackface at a party in the 80’s.

WTF is up with Virginia Democrats?

Allan Keyes was way ahead of the curve. In this post from 2016, Allan takes us back to a time when Archie Bunker appeared in blackface. And as big a racist as he was, even Archie Bunker was embarrassed to wear blackface. 

Thus proving that Virginia Democrats are bigger racists than Archie Bunker. QED.  

From November 19, 2016

keyes
Hey, I’m back!
Now I know, after reading that sentence, several questions come to mind:
-Where ya been?
-Who are you again?
-How quickly till you go away?

Anyway, the other day, Baby Girl Keyes (NOTE: Not her real name) was dressed very fashionably in an outfit that featured pants covered with all of the Disney princesses.

Disney Princesses

Awww…

She was her usual self, racing around as fast as her hands and feet could carry her, yelling like a lunatic (LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER!) when she went very calm and still. Which is never a good sign with her. Well now…turns out the kid took one of those diaper-bursting monster dumps that went all the way up her back and down her legs. But as I help her up to run her to the changing table (read: cardboard box covered in newspapers) the only thing I could really notice was all the faces of those Disney princesses were slowly turning brown.

Ewww...

Ewww…

It was hilarious – all these princesses starting to look like Archie Bunker in blackface putting on a minstrel show. (All in the Family season 6 episodes 14 and 15, Birth of The Baby parts 1 and 2. What, you thought I made that up?) In that episode, his friends at the lodge decided that it would be a great! Really Great! Idea to put on a mistral show.

Archie Bunker, noted racist, archenemy of George Jefferson, he who thought George Washington Carver was our first President’s butcher, even HE knew that putting on a minstrel show and wearing blackface was a bad idea. He was forced to do it or get kicked out of the lodge. And of course, this was the very night that his daughter went into labor so he showed up in the hospital painted and wearing a ridiculous sparkly suit even the Temptations wouldn’t wear. 

 

archie-1

archie-3

archie-4

fat-guy-in-whie-face-reverse-archie-with-balloon

archie-the-fat-black-rapist

blackface-bunker-disapproves

NOTE: These images are, of course, ridiculous, and if anyone is offended, just remember that this is Archie Bunker and if anyone was not a role model and didn’t deserve to emulated, it was him.

Plus, this is a post about baby poop and stains. Don’t look for political or racial discourse here.

But if you do, here’s your takeaway: Archie Bunker is now qualified to be Governor of Virginia.

 

 

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