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Sure She’s Beautiful, But What About Those Pants?

27 Aug

August 27, 2020

You what I like about Facebook? No, really, I mean it. Tell me, what the heck do I like about that thing? I dunno.

Anyway, an ad popped up on Facebook and interrupted my perusal of posts in the very engaging and thought-provoking  Brony Costume Tips I mean Jean-Paul Sartre Critical Analysis group. It was a UPS ad. And being the kind of guy I am, I actually looked at the comments in a United Parcel Service advertisement.

Be honest- you didn’t notice that I cut off most of the text, did you?

The comments fell into two basic categories:

  1. UPS SUCKZ!
  2. That girl is hot! Who is she?

This was probably not a good spend of the UPS ad budget.

Well, like any good husband I’m terrified of my wife, so I didn’t make a comment one way or the other on the hot-or-not-ness of the girl. I also didn’t comment on the general suckitude of UPS, but that was just out of sheer not-caringitude. (Longtime readers may recall that I was formerly an English teacher, though you couldn’t tell that from the last sentences.)

But I kept scrolling through the comments as frankly it was more interesting than the Brony costume sewing advice I mean Jean-Paul Sartre debate I had been reading. And as I kept scrolling, more interesting comments came up. A debate began to rage about her pants. What’s up with those shiny rubber Hammer pants?

That’s all I want to know now. What’s up with those pants? It’s got to be some exercise thing, right? Like you work out in those really warm and heavy pants that don’t breath and you sweat a lot and eventually you melt the pounds away due to sheer disgusting body fluid loss?

What’s up with those pants???

 

 

 

Time To Retire An Old Joke

25 Jul

July 25, 2020

The longest running joke on this blog is one no one ever noticed. It is subtle and has been running forever, right in plain sight.

I often refer to The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride as if there is an actual staff behind this site. However, as is often the case, I did it with a dash of self-deprecating humor. I intentionally incorrectly wrote it as The Editor’s and Staff, inserting an apostrophe where it wasn’t needed. This was not a typo. I did it all the time. These are actual screencaps from old posts.

 

The joke was that the Editors could not have been doing a very good job if they didn’t even notice an error in their own title.

Now I said I did that all the time, but not every time. Sometimes I felt it wasn’t appropriate or the extra gag wasn’t needed.

Here’s the thing: no one ever noticed. Or maybe they did but just didn’t bother to point out the obvious mistake. Therefore, the time has come to retire this old joke.  

Don’t worry, I have plenty of other old jokes. Some of you might even find one or two of them funny. (I’m looking at you, Great Aunt Edwina. I haven’t heard from you or your sewing circle, the Newkirk Needles, since the last time you tried to get me to stop squatting in your attic.) 

 

 

 

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