Tag Archives: history

Gilligan’s Island Sinks

23 Feb

February 23, 2018

Reposting a personal favorite.

As reported by the Associated Press, May 5th 1981.

 

Originally published May 26, 2015

Here’s a news story you may have missed:

Howell fortune

Here’s the text:

VOLCANO ERUPTS, SINKS GILLIGAN’S ISLAND
Thurston Howell III Fortune Feared Lost

AP News Service May 5th, 1981

A volcanic eruption which sunk a small South Pacific island may also have sunk the fortunes of one of America’s most celebrated millionaires.

After weeks of oceanic tremors, scientists confirm that a volcano erupted on the island of Palu Makalu, popularly known as “Gilligan’s Island” since the discovery and rescue of the survivors of the S.S. Minnow shipwreck in 1978. The island is now submerged in the depths off the continental shelf.

Among the survivors was eccentric millionaire Thurston Howell III, who made his fortune in the stock market in the post-war era. He later founded Howell Industries, which produced everything from ticker-tape to typewriter ribbons. Although profits had been declining in later years, due to the changing of technology, he recently doubled his assets after winning a bet on the Harlem Globetrotters to beat their robotic duplicates, in a match played at his resort on the island.

A spokesman for Mr. Howell released the following statement:

“The rumors of the loss of the Howell fortune are greatly exaggerated. When the island sank, it took with it 55 trunks of cash and bonds, which Thurston Howell III buried on the island to keep it safely away from the constant misadventures of Gilligan. However, Mr. Howell has invested heavily in new technologies, and we are confident that his acquisition of controlling interest in Betamax tape and 8-track cartridge corporations will position Howell Industries for future success in the 80’s and beyond.”

The other castaways, reacting to the loss of their island home of 14 years, universally blamed Gilligan for causing the eruption with one of his silly blunders.

In a related story, scientists say the Palu Makalu tribe of native headhunters may now be extinct.

 

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Today in Future History: January 14, 2877

14 Jan

January 14, 2018

 

JANUARY 14, 2877: Scientists develop a method to bring people back to life, and you are their first test subject. Upon your rebirth, they give you a wedgie and toss you into a women’s locker room without any pants. Unfortunately for you, the scientists are total jerks.

 

Want to know more about the future? Click on these for more far out knowledge!
Today in Future History: August 27th, 2938
Today in Future History: January 13, 3658

Curious about the past? Check these out!
Today in History: May 31, 1969
Today in History: November 10th, 28,000,000 B.C.
Today In History: September 5th 1987
Today in History: October 3rd, 1955. Captain Kangaroo Debuts
Today in History: September 22, 2007: Marcel Marceau, R.I.P.
Today In King Kong History: August 10th, 1921
Life and Death: August 16th

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