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But Is It Art? (No, It Isn’t Art)

25 Feb

February 25, 2017

This story comes from Midnight in the Desert, which is the site for the Art Bell Show. OH, sorry, which was the site for the Art Bell Show. Yep, Art unretired then retired yet again. But the site remains standing and the news remains odd. 

Once again, it is time for another installment of Mr. Blog’s ongoing battle with so-called “art.” Maybe we need another term, one keeping more in line with the political climate. Maybe we can call this “fake art.” Or how about “alt-art”? Read the article and we’ll decide.

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Abraham Poincheval is no stranger to daring performance art, but his latest project is probably the toughest one yet. The French artist will spend eight straight days sealed in a human shaped hole carved out inside a giant boulder. The purpose of this unusual performance – “to find out what the world is”.

On February 22, 2017, 45-year-old Poincheval was sealed in this carved out stone sarcophagus at Paris’s Palais de Tokyo gallery, where he will allegedly spend eight straight days, until March 1st. His temporary prison, a large boulder split in two with just enough room to fit the artist’s body in sitting position, and enough food and water to keep him in good physical condition over his eight days of isolation. His only connection to the outside world is a ventilation duct that keeps him from suffocating in the tight space.

“The purpose is to feel the aging stone inside the rock,” told media reporters. “There is my own breathing, and then the rock which lives, still humid because it was extracted not so long ago from the quarry. So there is that flow, that coming and going, between myself and the stone.”

Speaking for a moment as a scientist (yes, I have a degree in advanced scientifity from an online Turkish university) I must point out that rocks are not, technically, alive. But let’s take this loon’s statement seriously. If the rock was alive, then he must have killed it when he cut it in half and hollowed it out. Way to go, murderer.

The guy wants to “find out what the world is.” Is the inside of a rock the best place to do that? It may be the exact opposite of that. Caine from Kung Fu walked the Earth to find out about the world and who am I to argue with one of the most popular shows of the 1970’s? No one sat in a rock in any episode that I ever saw.

I was tempted to do some research to find out just who is paying for this nonsense, but quite honestly, I just don’t care that much. Frankly, I think this guy is trying to dodge either some creditors or an ex-wife. 

But back to the question at hand. The man will be living inside a rock for eight days. I’m sure people will go and look at the rock and flock there to see, well, absolutely nothing but hey, this somehow is called “performance” art. So is this art? Is this, by any stretch of the imagination, art? 

No.

I don’t think “fake art” or “alt-art” covers this. I prefer the good, old-fashioned “crap.”

See? Even these cartoon kids and their musical dog know.

See? Even these cartoon kids and their musical dog know.

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Seinfeld 2017

31 Jan

January 31, 2017

Wondering what George and Jerry are bickering about these days? Wonder no more. It’s…

800px-seinfeld_logo-2017George: Hey, didn’t you like my joke?
Jerry: What joke?
G: The one I texted you last night. About how Barack Obama’s dog gets the Secret Service to keep other dogs away from his fire hydrant?
J: Oh yeah, it was funny.
G: You thought it was funny?
J: Yeah, not bad, Georgie Boy.
G: (annoyed) So where was my emoji?

george-1

J: Your what?
G: You didn’t send me a smiley face. You didn’t even LOL.
J: Oh come on!
G: Yes! Yes! If it’s funny you’re supposed to send an emoji. That’s what you do. If you like something you send a thumbs up, or a smiley face. If it’s funny you write back LOL or maybe send a gif of a laughing monkey.
J: Why would I do that when I’ve got a laughing monkey right here?
G: (angry) You owe me an emoji Jerry!
J: I don’t send out emojis that easily. Your joke was barely a chuckle. It wasn’t emoji-worthy.

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G: This is not how the internet works! People send all kinds of emojis. Kramer sends emojis all the time!
J: Oh, Kramer! He doesn’t know an LOL from an ROTFL!
G: You owe me an emoji Jerry!
J: And you owe me $235 for my drone you crashed last week trying to see the Giants for free.
G: (contrite) Let’s call it even.

george-costanza-jerry-seinfeld

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