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Imponderable #134: Faster, Squirrel! Kill! Kill!

30 Jun

June 30, 2017

This is the first of two editions of the Imponderable that The Editors and Staff call Wild Kingdom Animal Antics. (It gives us an excuse to come up with a new logo.) We’ve featured some bizarre animal stories in the past, but these are in a class by themselves. 

The source for this story is not a site I am familiar with but if this is true then we have a brand new super-villain on our hands. The odds of it being true are about nil to one, but hey, that’s what makes a good story. 

click to enlarge

In a nutshell, so to speak, a guy’s animal trainer ex-gf trained a pack of squirrels to attack him. And like you’d expect, the squirrels went for his nuts. But as I said above, we have the makings of a super-villain here. “She was partially hidden behind some bushes, but I could clearly see her and hear her. She was yelling orders at the squirrels and telling them to attack me.” 

This guy was just proof of concept. Having established that squirrels can be trained to attack, I’m sure the next step for her is to train them to rob banks. How long will it be until she has them hacking the U.S. Presidential election?

I admit up front (OK, at the end) that I don’t believe this for a single second. But who cares? 

Is this story more or less real than anything you see on CNN?
The question is Imponderable.

 

And thank you Jimbo for bringing this to my attention!

 

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Top Ten Worst Cereals

28 Jun

June 28, 2017

From the home office of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride in glorious Outer Mongolia, here is tonight’s Top Ten List:

TOP TEN WORST CEREALS

Rice Crudies
Rust Flakes
Hitler-O’s
Marshmallow Kitty Liter
John Wayne Gacy with Extra Fiber
Big Box of Pencil Sharpener Shavings
Fruity Liver Treats
Honey Bunches of Nothing
Orange is the New Black Crunch
Trix Rabbit Pellets

 

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