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Dudes In Space!

12 Sep

September 12, 2018

It’s totally time to start a new space adventure!

 


The Time: The future. Way, way in the future, like when you get an estimate on how long it’ll take them to paint your house and it goes way past the estimate and they are charging you for like rags and stuff. What’s up with that? So yeah, that far in the future.

The Place: Space. Somewhere like in a nebula or something. Or a black hole. Whichever is cooler, take your pick. Maybe Underwater? Nah, space.

Super Space Guy Hunk Blockcheese strides across the bridge of his spaceship. It’s really awesome with lots of expensive bling. He stops near the navigator, Callie Fornia, and flexes. He’s like got a crush on her and stuff but he’s too much of a wuss to tell her, so after a couple of minutes he goes to the gym to oil his pecs.

Meanwhile, somewhere else far away, maybe on a planet or a moon or something, there’s this evil guy all covered with tats. He has like a real mad on for Hunk Blockcheese because of something that happened in high school. It was totally his mom’s fault for always buying him those cheap department store pants. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Blockcheese comes back from the gym, all pumped up. He sits in his chair and wants to know like where they are, you know, with coordinates and things like that. He’s trying to sound all professional and stuff because he thinks Callie Fornia likes those kinda guys.

This spaceship also has robots too, and they can fly.


 

Like wow! This is going to be … good?

 

 

 

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Men’s Important Announcements

10 Jul

July 10, 2018

Some families send out year end Christmas cards that list all the family member’s accomplishments over the past twelve months. Little Timmy got straight A’s in math, daughter Linda got engaged, Mom and Dad finally took that trip to France, things like that. Sometimes during the year they’ll even send out little notices, like Cousin Mikey getting his first Boy Scout badge or to announce the newest member of the family, a pet chihuahua named Waggles.

But what if men sent out notices for the things that are really important in their lives? The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride think one such announcement may read something like this.

It is with great pride and satisfaction that Mr. Ralph Hornberger announces that he has moved up from the center toilet stall to the stall on the right.

Mr. Hornberger had been headquartered in the center stall for the last six years, after making the move from the left-hand stall in 2012, following the departure of Mr. Archer of the accounting department. 

The rightmost stall, which features a triple toilet paper roller and newly installed insta-flush system, became available when Ed Rosen moved to a stall in the newly opened sixth-floor men’s room, which is nearer his office. 

Mr. Hornberger shares this proud moment with his wife, Belinda, daughters Stacy and Melissa, and son Thomas, whom Mr. Hornberger hopes will one day follow in his father’s footsteps and occupy the rightmost stall himself.

 

 

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