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Imponderable #135: Attack Of The Gay Baboon

6 Jul

July 6, 2017

If the news coming out of Africa is to be believed, it is a dangerous part of the world.

There are more, and I haven’t even mentioned the giant poisonous snails. So with all this in mind, read this next story and perhaps reconsider your travel plans.

click to enlarge

Gay baboon? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The issue here isn’t the baboon’s sexuality at all. If he’s happy then good for him. The problem is that he is sexually assaulting humans. And that’s an important point because it brings us to the Imponderable.

From the animals point of view, is sex with humans bestiality?
The question is Imponderable.

But no, no, we are not done with this story, not by a longshot. Because this is also:

The baboon has given all its victims anal cancer. That’s extraordinary! Sexually transmitted cross-species cancer!

So to recap, going to Africa may put you in danger of having your penis and/or panties stolen, running across a formerly dead hooker, losing your finger to an enchanted ring, encountering poisonous giant snails, and getting sexually transmitted simian anal cancer.

The African tourism board didn’t mention any of that!

 

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The Burning Question

5 Jun

June 5, 2017

What’s up with ghost clothes? Say your house is haunted by a ghost wearing evening clothes and a top hat, right out of the 1800’s. The ghost, while strolling through your walls, takes off his hat and puts it on your kitchen table. Then he leaves.

What happens to the hat? Does it fade away? Does it stay there? Are you stuck with an intangible, see-through hat in the middle of your table? Do you have to put up with it while you eat breakfast? Is it just going to stay there, being all ghostly and insubstantial, until the ghost comes back to get it? What can you do about the ghost hat?

 

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