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American Chopper- Pimpin’ for The Man

4 Sep

September 4, 2021

Mr. Blog is not a paid attorney spokesman, but Paul Teutul Sr. Is.

I used to do recaps of American Chopper every week, eventually live-blogging it as it aired. It’s a part of this blog that I’d rather forget. I am sure that watching that show killed more brain cells than if I had a motorcycle accident. But if I did have a motorcycle accident, I’m sure Paul Teutul Sr.- non-lawyer paid spokesperson – could recommend one.

Or three.

Or five.

How many lawyers does Paul Sr. shill for?

All the lawyers!

Behold the withering glower of Paul Teutul Sr.!

Those are not all the firms I found. I could have gone on and on. They shuffled lawyers in and out of the studio to stand next to the fading physique of Paul Sr., stopping just long enough for Sr. to stand and glower and (probably) call his son “numb nuts” a few times while the cameras filmed a few seconds to make it look like Sr. had some clue of the names of the people next to him.

This says less about Paul Sr. than it does for the lawyers, all of whose firms are not independent at all but part of a legal referral network that sends your case to a local law firm depending on your location.

Paul Sr. has likely not spent more than ten minutes with any of those people. That’s OK, after watching season after season of American Chopper, I can guess that Sr. had a massage appointment to get to.

A Trek of Many Colors

26 Jun

June 26, 2021

We all know Star Trek. Captain Kirk, Dr. Spock, Ship Surgeon “Mac” Coy, engineer Scotty Pippin, Fozzie Bear, Jabba the Hutt, Buzz Aldrin. All your favorites!

You think I don’t know Star Trek? As sure as James B. Kirk beat Ming the Merciless at the Battle of Midway, I know Star Trek better than these guys:

Yellow? Those are the classic Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan red uniforms. Mad Magazine, did you let Roger Kaputnik color this cover?

Blue? Now the red uniforms are blue? That’s a mistake I’d expect from Cracked, not a magazine of such journalistic integrity as Mad.

Did I say blue? Sorry Cracked. (And by the way, Kirk and Spock are about to die.)

And lastly, those red uniforms are blue again. Seriously, did Flash Gordon get his zap gun mixed up in the space ship Enterprise’s khyber crystals again? I sure hope somebody got fired for that one!

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