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I Went To Meat… And Beyond!

11 Nov

November 12, 2019

I was in my local Dunkin’ Donuts (or DD as they like to be called nowadays, to the ire of Daredevil fans everywhere). It was strangely derelict-free.

Dunkin’ D has joined the growing trend of fast-food restaurants that serve meat-that-isn’t-meat. Surprise! It is some sort of plant based thing, made from, I don’t know, algae? Plankton? Triffids?

Triffids. It is made from Triffids.

They’ve got a lot of nerve calling this a sausage. Anyway, I had no intention of trying one. I’m a real man. Real men eat real meat, whether it comes from a cow, coyote, or crow. That’s real eating right there. This plant-based abomination? Save it for the Bernie Sanders supporters.

But if there’s something I like as much as real meat, it’s a freebie, and this D Donuts was giving out free samples of this sandwich, little pieces of plant-based “sausage” on a little piece of bagel with a little piece of cheese. About the size of a quarter of a sandwich. So I tried it. What the heck? The worst it could do to me was give me severe stomach cramps.

If this tray was full of free arsenic sandwiches I would have taken one.

The first thing you have to know is that the color is deceptive. On the outside it is a brownish-red, but on the inside, all green. Yes, this is green on the inside. Totally unlike meat but very like something plant-based.

But how does it taste? It tastes absolutely unlike meat. Completely and totally non-meat-like. What about the consistency? Again, nothing like meat. It was like eating leaves that were pressed together. Not chewy but not falling apart. Honestly, it was OK. Just not meat.

Bottom line- would I eat it again?

It will never be my first choice, or my second choice. Not my third choice either. But if ever found myself in a situation where there was no other place to eat for miles around, and there was nothing else to eat but this, I would eat this. The taste was OK, whatever it was, with a hint of spice. Triffid never tasted so good.

 

 

 

 

 

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Fonzie Eats a Can of Ravioli Over a Hot Plate. A Christmas Tradition.

22 Dec

December 22, 2018

Christmas is a time of traditions, and nothing is more of a tradition here at Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride than this Christmas episode of Happy Days. As for the Grinch among you, who think this is just an excuse for me to post a rerun, that’s simply not true. This marks the seventh time I’ve  posted this since 2010, (skipping only 20015 and 2016) and it is all because, year in and year out, this is one of my most searched and most viewed posts during the holiday season.  

All New 2018 Fonzie Christmas Meme!

From December 24, 2010

I can’t let the holiday go by without everyone’s favorite 30 year-old teenager, the Fonz, making an appearance. You can have your Frosty and your Rudolph, this is my TV yuletide.

This is a classic piece of Christmastime must-see television around my house. (I’m sure that says a lot about my house. We also love Godzilla at Thanksgiving. It’s a bit hard to fit in the oven but trust me, it tastes delicious.)  In this clip from the early days of Happy Days, everyone is getting ready for Christmas, except poor Fonzie, who has nowhere to go. This was before Fonzie moved in above the Cunningham’s and he was going to spend a lonely holiday in his garage. Watch as The Fonz sits on a greasy toolbox, heats up a can of ravioli on a hot plate, and sets out a pathetic little holiday card for company. Were the Aloha Pussycats out-of-town? Where was Paula Petralunga? And what about the Hooper triplets, Pinky Tuscadero, or a dozen loose cheerleaders? Ponder that as you watch with someone you love.

The 2017 Fonzie Christmas Meme

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