Tag Archives: doctors

Do Not Give This To Your Children (Give This To Your Children)

14 Mar

March 14, 2017

Watching TV is like watching all the worst in life. No, I haven’t been watching American Chopper reruns, I’m talking about commercials. In particular, I’m talking about commercials for medicine. They are so full of disclaimers and legal jargon that I’m not sure if I should ask my doctor or lawyer if I should take something. But if I’m diagnosing myself based on symptoms recited by a talking pink pill, I may have other problems besides an upset stomach. 

I was watching TV when an ad for Linzess came on. As far as made up medicine names go, Linzess is better than Prevnar 13, which they claim is a pneumonia medication but I think is really a planet where Captain Kirk fought the Klingons. 

Linzess is medicine for constipation and belly pain. Yes, it is for “belly” pain and not “stomach” pain. Hey, why use a medical term in a medicine commercial? Check it out here, from the official Linzess website, complete with a cute girl with a backed up dumper:

As I was listening to the commercial I heard a couple of caveats, which I highlighted above.

  • Do not give LINZESS to children who are less than 6 years of age. It may harm them.
  • You should not give LINZESS to children 6 years to less than 18 years of age. It may harm them.

What’s the difference?
Under no circumstances should you give this to kids under 6. Nope, not at all. Don’t do it.
You shouldn’t give it to kids between 6 and 18, but maybe, if you want to, nudge nudge wink wink. We won’t tell.

Why not just say “Do not give Linzess to children who are under eighteen”? Is it OK to take a chance with a 14 year old? It does sort of hint that you can give it to an older kid. After all, you should not buy off-brand frozen fish from the dollar store but people do it all the time. So why not take a shot with your kid’s health?

What is the difference between “do not give” and “you should not give”? 
The question is Imponderable.

This has been Imponderable #134

 

.

Advertisements

The Egotistical Doctor

3 Feb

February 3, 2014

I was recently in the doctor’s office. No, not the waiting room, but this doctor’s private office. I sat across the desk from a fairly prominent cardiologist and talked about my health, etc. He was a pretty good guy and came across like he knew what he was talking about, and he better- it’s my heart we’re talking about. But before he came in I had a few minutes alone in the office and looked around. There were the usual degrees and diplomas on the wall, models and drawings of the human heart, reference books galore, all the stuff you’d expect. On his ornate desk, which was huge, were dozens of family photos. The doctor and his wife skiing, his kids sailing, the whole family on a tropical beach, etc, and pictures of them all with people I assume were celebrities but I honestly did not recognize.

But the pictures were all facing me.

Every picture faced the visitor, not the doctor. From where he was sitting, all he saw was the back of the frames. So obviously, these pictures were there for my benefit, not his. On my desk at work the pictures face me. I want to see them. They relax me, take me away from work for a few seconds. But the doctor’s pictures? I was supposed to be impressed by them.

Why? I don’t know, maybe it is simply the doctor’s ego. But do I want a doctor with a big ego? To a certain extent, yes. Not overly much, not overly confident, but I do want a doctor who has accomplished much and has a bit of an ego as opposed to a wishy-washy doctor who is in doubt of his diagnosis- especially in this case, when I was merely there as an insurance prerequisite.

If I have to look at his boring family vacation photos, then that’s the price I’ll pay.

What price won’t I pay?

ProstateExam2

 

.

 

.

 

 

%d bloggers like this: