Tag Archives: english

Return Of The Grammar Fool

5 Jan

January 5, 2018

Longtime readers of this blog may recall that when this blog began, I was an English teacher. Since then I moved on, first to the Company I Am not allowed to name and now to a position as a freelance investigator. What do these jobs have in common? They were all silly enough to pay me.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The phrase “longtime readers of this blog” may now be an anachronism. The longest-time reader, Mr. Al Bickley, has been a proud subscriber since day one, when this blog first appeared on MySpace. However, he has been in a medically induced coma since 2012 and while technically still a subscriber, he is definitely no longer a reader. The second-longest tenured reader is my Aunt Edwina, whose constant requests to be unsubscribed from my blog have been cheerfully ignored for years, since I know them to be nothing more than playful jests. Though that does not explain why she doesn’t invite me for Thanksgiving anymore.)

But sometimes, the old English-teaching days still haunt me. If you have the stomach for it, go back and check out the many blogs where I complain about bad grammar. (Here’s one making fun of Michael Bloomberg.)  HA HA HA, boy was that annoying. What was I thinking?

I’ll tell you what I was thinking. Read this, which is an actual status I posted on Facebook today.

Let someone else deal with OBJ.

Get it? It works on two levels. It’s funny because A- it’s a bad snowstorm and B- the Giants stink. I’ll take my West Coast Wildcat offense somewhere else, thank you very much.

But here’s where the grammar stuff kicks in. It’s that word “today.” That pesky “today.” There were three ways to write that post.
1- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview today for Giants head coach.
2- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach today.
3- The snow is so bad today that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach.

Speaking now as a former paid English expert, the word “today,” in this context, acts as some sort of adjective modifier thingy, emphasizing that the interview was today (option 1), rather than emphasizing that the position was to be the Giants head coach today (option 2), which would be inaccurate. (But as I read this back, I think option 3, emphasizing that the snow was so bad today, was the way to go. Oh well.) 

See? It makes sense. I realize that most of you don’t care (so why are you still reading? This is the internet, go find some wrestling rumors or tweet or something) but hey, I actually put thought into that stupid status update.

The moral of the story? It is a snowy day, I’m stuck indoors, and this is what happens.



Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Foreign Knock-Off Toys 2

12 Nov

November 12, 2016

treasure chest logo

Hello again fellow consumer of toys most elegant! In years previously past, Blog Fellow of the Moist and Tepid has presented selections designed to elevate and fun. This is true even now in common era. Applaud and delight as Editor Staff present anew the badly translated of toys foreign and odd.

Item First of Honor- Here we display item of possible edible quality. Souperman!


This sent to place by listener commentator Mac of BIOnight, Go to website here for music and wonder! We appreciate sending of picture for thanks or blame!

Item Second of Next- More Superman! Superman Fly for Truth! Superman use Saddle of Justice! Superman Ride Horse of Know What For?


Superheroic Man ride horse of night color! Lasso and steed! New!

Item Third After Next- Superhero make you totem of respect when given to children for present or tolerate!

superheroIt possibly good toy!

Item Fourth Not The Last- More super power, maybe for ladies or use of funtime at night.

supercockLadies pleasure of excitement! Head attach!

Item Five of Awesome Gods- Spader-Man selection of five battle for right and against for justice minus evil. Bendable!


Spader-Man Red and Blue! Spader-Man Red! Spader-Man Blue! Color of toy to stimulate and pretend! From the new! Bonus!

Item Last in List- From movies of budget with people to be seen.

franstromersFranstromers Franstrom from robot to other robot! Sell for two dollars in one dollar store!

For other selections maybe enjoy other link here to see more and know: Foreign Knock-Off Toys Part 1




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