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Tag Archives: Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride

Sneek Peek: Coming Soon! May 2018

10 May

May 10, 2018

It’s me again, Your Man Inside BMJ2k.com. And let me tell you, it stinks around here. The Editors and Staff constantly leave old tuna sandwiches laying around, and Mr. Know-It-All is still squatting in his office, despite not writing a word a word for the website in months. And with no shower around here, he’s pretty gamy. 

(Well, it’s not technically true that he hasn’t written a word in months. We find his bizarre political screeds scribbled all over the walls of the ladies room.)

But there is content to come! Coming Soon:

Mr. Blog returns to his favorite subject: pizza. Specifically, subway pizza. No, not the sandwich shop Subway, he’s talking about underground trains and pizza. Will the Pizza Rat make an appearance? No.

Mr. Blog also takes a look at sexism and tipping. And he’ll harken back (harken?) to some past experiences chronicled in this very blog to prove his point.

All this and floating specks of contamination, coming soon to Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

 

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Return Of The Grammar Fool

5 Jan

January 5, 2018

Longtime readers of this blog may recall that when this blog began, I was an English teacher. Since then I moved on, first to the Company I Am not allowed to name and now to a position as a freelance investigator. What do these jobs have in common? They were all silly enough to pay me.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The phrase “longtime readers of this blog” may now be an anachronism. The longest-time reader, Mr. Al Bickley, has been a proud subscriber since day one, when this blog first appeared on MySpace. However, he has been in a medically induced coma since 2012 and while technically still a subscriber, he is definitely no longer a reader. The second-longest tenured reader is my Aunt Edwina, whose constant requests to be unsubscribed from my blog have been cheerfully ignored for years, since I know them to be nothing more than playful jests. Though that does not explain why she doesn’t invite me for Thanksgiving anymore.)

But sometimes, the old English-teaching days still haunt me. If you have the stomach for it, go back and check out the many blogs where I complain about bad grammar. (Here’s one making fun of Michael Bloomberg.)  HA HA HA, boy was that annoying. What was I thinking?

I’ll tell you what I was thinking. Read this, which is an actual status I posted on Facebook today.

Let someone else deal with OBJ.

Get it? It works on two levels. It’s funny because A- it’s a bad snowstorm and B- the Giants stink. I’ll take my West Coast Wildcat offense somewhere else, thank you very much.

But here’s where the grammar stuff kicks in. It’s that word “today.” That pesky “today.” There were three ways to write that post.
1- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview today for Giants head coach.
2- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach today.
3- The snow is so bad today that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach.

Speaking now as a former paid English expert, the word “today,” in this context, acts as some sort of adjective modifier thingy, emphasizing that the interview was today (option 1), rather than emphasizing that the position was to be the Giants head coach today (option 2), which would be inaccurate. (But as I read this back, I think option 3, emphasizing that the snow was so bad today, was the way to go. Oh well.) 

See? It makes sense. I realize that most of you don’t care (so why are you still reading? This is the internet, go find some wrestling rumors or tweet or something) but hey, I actually put thought into that stupid status update.

The moral of the story? It is a snowy day, I’m stuck indoors, and this is what happens.

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