Tag Archives: Aunt Edwina

Time To Retire An Old Joke

25 Jul

July 25, 2020

The longest running joke on this blog is one no one ever noticed. It is subtle and has been running forever, right in plain sight.

I often refer to The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride as if there is an actual staff behind this site. However, as is often the case, I did it with a dash of self-deprecating humor. I intentionally incorrectly wrote it as The Editor’s and Staff, inserting an apostrophe where it wasn’t needed. This was not a typo. I did it all the time. These are actual screencaps from old posts.

 

The joke was that the Editors could not have been doing a very good job if they didn’t even notice an error in their own title.

Now I said I did that all the time, but not every time. Sometimes I felt it wasn’t appropriate or the extra gag wasn’t needed.

Here’s the thing: no one ever noticed. Or maybe they did but just didn’t bother to point out the obvious mistake. Therefore, the time has come to retire this old joke.  

Don’t worry, I have plenty of other old jokes. Some of you might even find one or two of them funny. (I’m looking at you, Great Aunt Edwina. I haven’t heard from you or your sewing circle, the Newkirk Needles, since the last time you tried to get me to stop squatting in your attic.) 

 

 

 

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Return Of The Grammar Fool

5 Jan

January 5, 2018

Longtime readers of this blog may recall that when this blog began, I was an English teacher. Since then I moved on, first to the Company I Am not allowed to name and now to a position as a freelance investigator. What do these jobs have in common? They were all silly enough to pay me.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The phrase “longtime readers of this blog” may now be an anachronism. The longest-time reader, Mr. Al Bickley, has been a proud subscriber since day one, when this blog first appeared on MySpace. However, he has been in a medically induced coma since 2012 and while technically still a subscriber, he is definitely no longer a reader. The second-longest tenured reader is my Aunt Edwina, whose constant requests to be unsubscribed from my blog have been cheerfully ignored for years, since I know them to be nothing more than playful jests. Though that does not explain why she doesn’t invite me for Thanksgiving anymore.)

But sometimes, the old English-teaching days still haunt me. If you have the stomach for it, go back and check out the many blogs where I complain about bad grammar. (Here’s one making fun of Michael Bloomberg.)  HA HA HA, boy was that annoying. What was I thinking?

I’ll tell you what I was thinking. Read this, which is an actual status I posted on Facebook today.

Let someone else deal with OBJ.

Get it? It works on two levels. It’s funny because A- it’s a bad snowstorm and B- the Giants stink. I’ll take my West Coast Wildcat offense somewhere else, thank you very much.

But here’s where the grammar stuff kicks in. It’s that word “today.” That pesky “today.” There were three ways to write that post.
1- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview today for Giants head coach.
2- The snow is so bad that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach today.
3- The snow is so bad today that I’m skipping my interview for Giants head coach.

Speaking now as a former paid English expert, the word “today,” in this context, acts as some sort of adjective modifier thingy, emphasizing that the interview was today (option 1), rather than emphasizing that the position was to be the Giants head coach today (option 2), which would be inaccurate. (But as I read this back, I think option 3, emphasizing that the snow was so bad today, was the way to go. Oh well.) 

See? It makes sense. I realize that most of you don’t care (so why are you still reading? This is the internet, go find some wrestling rumors or tweet or something) but hey, I actually put thought into that stupid status update.

The moral of the story? It is a snowy day, I’m stuck indoors, and this is what happens.

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