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Newsfail Quick Hits (December 2017)

4 Dec

December 4, 2017

The news media is a huge industry. Think of all the stories that appear in all the newscasts, all the websites, all the print media, etc etc etc. Not every story will make perfect sense, nor will every story be well-written or even get to the heart of the matter. Here are a few quick examples.

Let Go is like eBay, except that it doesn’t involve shipping. It is up to the parties involved to coordinate an exchange. In other words, it is a site where strangers set up meetings where one brings money and the other may or may not kill them for that money. What can possibly go wrong? I think that’s the real story here.

 

Star WARS.
The Force is from Star Wars, not Star Trek.

By now you’d think a writer working on a major New York newspaper and reporting on entertainment and media would know the difference. That’s a total fail.

 

This next one is not really a failure. In fact, this may be very clever. 

The article doesn’t mention where or how she was smuggling the baloney until the second paragraph, where it also contains the phrase “sausage smuggling,” which is probably not something you should google from work. 

By the way, she hid bologna under the floor mats of her car. I have no idea what you may have been thinking.

 

So how many times did she give birth outside the US?

 

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Tom Brokaw Is An Old Fart

4 Oct

October 4, 2017

Tom Brokaw, though semi-retired, is still one of America’s most respected journalists. He anchored the NBC news for 22 years from 1982 to 2004. He’s covered every major story and worked on every major newscast spanning three decades. He’s written books and produced documentaries. He is very well-respected.

He’s also a cranky old man. 

How else to explain the following “you kids stay off my lawn-style rant”? Brokaw has a short commentary series that airs on certain radio stations across the country. It is known as both An American Story and The Brokaw Report. The segments are less than a minute long and the topics are whatever is rattling around in his dusty head. In the segment below, Tom registers his disgust and offense at the apparently brand new to him trend of people wearing ripped jeans. Listen to this and try not to laugh at his righteous, moral outrage.

Click here to listen to Premium Prices for Torn Jeans Are an Insult to the Impoverished.  Go ahead, it is only 39 seconds. 

“It is poverty chic mocking the poor.”

It really seems as though poor Tom has just begun seeing this brand new fad of “mostly women” wearing ripped jeans. I can’t wait for him to discover crocs. But he really believes that wearing torn jeans is, somehow, an affront, an insult, a spit right in the face of poor people. He really is out of touch. He seriously sees it as people playing dress up as poor people. He thinks poverty cosplay is a thing.

Plus he still says “trousers.” The last person I remember casually using the word “trousers” in normal conversation was Mr. Armour, my third-grade teacher, but he gets a pass since he was in his 70’s. In the 1970’s.

Poor Tom Brokaw, worried about all the sad, offended poor folks with their broken hearts and hurt feelings at the sight of a hipster in torn jeans. 

Notice his perfectly unwrinkled trousers, even when slumming with the poor folk.

Lest you think this is just an isolated incident and I’m blowing Tom’s old man cred out of proportion, here are the titles of some of his other rants.

  • The Miracle of Flight Might Not Seem That to People Who Fly Everyday
  • There’s Nothing I Enjoy More Than Spoiling My Grandkids
  • Prediction: Department Stores Will Downsize to Kiosks
  • Email Is A Wonder, But Is Too Often Abused

I’m sure you think I made up the spoiling grandkids one but I didn’t. 

And also, congrats to Fancy Ol’ Me! This was the first time I used the word “lest” in a blog post. Probably the last too, unless I turn into my own version of Tom Brokaw.

Does this look like a man who is out of touch with the poor?

 

 

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