Tag Archives: robbery

Newsfail Quick Hits (December 2017)

4 Dec

December 4, 2017

The news media is a huge industry. Think of all the stories that appear in all the newscasts, all the websites, all the print media, etc etc etc. Not every story will make perfect sense, nor will every story be well-written or even get to the heart of the matter. Here are a few quick examples.

Let Go is like eBay, except that it doesn’t involve shipping. It is up to the parties involved to coordinate an exchange. In other words, it is a site where strangers set up meetings where one brings money and the other may or may not kill them for that money. What can possibly go wrong? I think that’s the real story here.


Star WARS.
The Force is from Star Wars, not Star Trek.

By now you’d think a writer working on a major New York newspaper and reporting on entertainment and media would know the difference. That’s a total fail.


This next one is not really a failure. In fact, this may be very clever. 

The article doesn’t mention where or how she was smuggling the baloney until the second paragraph, where it also contains the phrase “sausage smuggling,” which is probably not something you should google from work. 

By the way, she hid bologna under the floor mats of her car. I have no idea what you may have been thinking.


So how many times did she give birth outside the US?



Imponderable #53: Port Richey Florida

6 Jul

July 6, 2012

What more can I add? The man has his priorities.

I’ve never been a beer drinker. If I want bad tasting foam then I’ll know there is something wrong with me.  Me? I’m a Pepsi kind of guy, like my role model George Costanza.

But I totally get that there are some people, like the afore-mentioned Mr. Whittle, who lead very beer-intensive lifestyles. I’ve covered the link between beer and crime before. For example, there was Imponderable #11, in which a man fleeing from the police  was caught because he would not stop drinking beer as he ran. In fact, pretty much any time there is a lot of beer flowing you can expect guys to be doing something stupid.

Of course, this is a little different. Mr. Whittle robbed the bank before he drank his beer.

Aren’t you supposed to get drunk, decide that robbing a bank is a good idea, then have the robbery foiled because you spent thirty minutes trying to push open a pull door until the bank closed? Isn’t that the way these things work?

I really want to know what this apparently sober man was thinking.

So what was he thinking?

The question is Imponderable.

Ya know, this reminds me of a movie I haven’t seen in ages.

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