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Great Moments In Comic Book History: Darkhawk #27 (Marvel, May 1993)

16 Aug

August 16, 2021

With Marvel relaunching 90’s hero Darkhawk, I thought it was a good opportunity to revisit an issue of his first series, from 1993.

Darkhawk issue 27 is a team-up with the New Warriors, themselves a team created in the boom-era 1990’s. This is the second part of a storyline called Shattered Fates, in which Zarrko, a bald, paunchy time-traveling villain who is inexplicably dressed in the same green jumpsuit Dr. Octopus wears, has offered the heroes to go back in time and fix some wrong of their choosing in exchange for helping him in some vague plan of his to save the future.

Zarrko is a time traveler, much like Kang the Conqueror (who also wears green. Hmmm…) He is attended by his fearsome thug, Servitor. How fearsome is he? Check this out.

That slice of pizza never stood a chance.

What better way to show your power, your awesome might, to intimidate your opponents and forestall all defiance than to vaporize a slice of cold pizza that has displeased your master?

This is why Kang is the baddie of the next wave of the MCU and not Zarrko.

Darkhawk 27 was written by Danny Fingeroth, penciled by Tod Smith, inked by Chris Ivy, colored by Troy Sayers, and lettered by Bill Oakley. Pizza by Original Rays Pizza.

And as a side note, look how awed the heroes are in the last panel. I bet The Avengers would not have been one bit impressed.

Sure She’s Beautiful, But What About Those Pants?

27 Aug

August 27, 2020

You what I like about Facebook? No, really, I mean it. Tell me, what the heck do I like about that thing? I dunno.

Anyway, an ad popped up on Facebook and interrupted my perusal of posts in the very engaging and thought-provoking  Brony Costume Tips I mean Jean-Paul Sartre Critical Analysis group. It was a UPS ad. And being the kind of guy I am, I actually looked at the comments in a United Parcel Service advertisement.

Be honest- you didn’t notice that I cut off most of the text, did you?

The comments fell into two basic categories:

  1. UPS SUCKZ!
  2. That girl is hot! Who is she?

This was probably not a good spend of the UPS ad budget.

Well, like any good husband I’m terrified of my wife, so I didn’t make a comment one way or the other on the hot-or-not-ness of the girl. I also didn’t comment on the general suckitude of UPS, but that was just out of sheer not-caringitude. (Longtime readers may recall that I was formerly an English teacher, though you couldn’t tell that from the last sentences.)

But I kept scrolling through the comments as frankly it was more interesting than the Brony costume sewing advice I mean Jean-Paul Sartre debate I had been reading. And as I kept scrolling, more interesting comments came up. A debate began to rage about her pants. What’s up with those shiny rubber Hammer pants?

That’s all I want to know now. What’s up with those pants? It’s got to be some exercise thing, right? Like you work out in those really warm and heavy pants that don’t breath and you sweat a lot and eventually you melt the pounds away due to sheer disgusting body fluid loss?

What’s up with those pants???

 

 

 

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