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Tag Archives: trend

Tom Brokaw Is An Old Fart

4 Oct

October 4, 2017

Tom Brokaw, though semi-retired, is still one of America’s most respected journalists. He anchored the NBC news for 22 years from 1982 to 2004. He’s covered every major story and worked on every major newscast spanning three decades. He’s written books and produced documentaries. He is very well-respected.

He’s also a cranky old man. 

How else to explain the following “you kids stay off my lawn-style rant”? Brokaw has a short commentary series that airs on certain radio stations across the country. It is known as both An American Story and The Brokaw Report. The segments are less than a minute long and the topics are whatever is rattling around in his dusty head. In the segment below, Tom registers his disgust and offense at the apparently brand new to him trend of people wearing ripped jeans. Listen to this and try not to laugh at his righteous, moral outrage.

Click here to listen to Premium Prices for Torn Jeans Are an Insult to the Impoverished.  Go ahead, it is only 39 seconds. 

“It is poverty chic mocking the poor.”

It really seems as though poor Tom has just begun seeing this brand new fad of “mostly women” wearing ripped jeans. I can’t wait for him to discover crocs. But he really believes that wearing torn jeans is, somehow, an affront, an insult, a spit right in the face of poor people. He really is out of touch. He seriously sees it as people playing dress up as poor people. He thinks poverty cosplay is a thing.

Plus he still says “trousers.” The last person I remember casually using the word “trousers” in normal conversation was Mr. Armour, my third-grade teacher, but he gets a pass since he was in his 70’s. In the 1970’s.

Poor Tom Brokaw, worried about all the sad, offended poor folks with their broken hearts and hurt feelings at the sight of a hipster in torn jeans. 

Notice his perfectly unwrinkled trousers, even when slumming with the poor folk.

Lest you think this is just an isolated incident and I’m blowing Tom’s old man cred out of proportion, here are the titles of some of his other rants.

  • The Miracle of Flight Might Not Seem That to People Who Fly Everyday
  • There’s Nothing I Enjoy More Than Spoiling My Grandkids
  • Prediction: Department Stores Will Downsize to Kiosks
  • Email Is A Wonder, But Is Too Often Abused

I’m sure you think I made up the spoiling grandkids one but I didn’t. 

And also, congrats to Fancy Ol’ Me! This was the first time I used the word “lest” in a blog post. Probably the last too, unless I turn into my own version of Tom Brokaw.

Does this look like a man who is out of touch with the poor?

 

 

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Sorry, But There’s ANOTHER New Hipster Trend

7 Mar

March 7, 2014

I really don’t intend this to be hipster central (“Hipsters! Can’t stand them!”) but this was sent in by an alert reader whose sole comment to me was Murderous rage prevents me from typing any more at the moment.

This is excerpted from the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/06/fashion/the-monocle-returns-as-a-fashion-accessory.html?_r=2

One Part Mr. Peanut, One Part Hipster Chic

The Monocle Returns as a Fashion Accessory

By ALLEN SALKIN MARCH 5, 2014

From the trendy enclaves of Berlin cafes and Manhattan restaurants to gin ads and fashion magazines, the monocle is taking its turn alongside key 21st-century accouterments like sharply tucked plaid shirts and certificates in swine butchering.

Martin Raymond, a British trend forecaster, credits the rise to what he calls “the new gents,” a hipster subspecies who have been adding monocles to their bespoke tweed and distressed-boot outfits. On a recent trip to Cape Town, Mr. Raymond said, he saw such a group carrying monocles along with tiny brass telescopes kept in satchels.

“All of this is part of a sense of irony and a way of discovering and displaying old artisanal and craft-based technology,” Mr. Raymond said. “You see the monocle appearing in Berlin, parts of South Dublin.”

Toby Miller, a cultural historian, said: “Monocles have always marked people out as beyond the crowd, slightly different. On one hand you have the Prussian officer, on the other you have the effete English lord, and then you also have the New York and London lesbian in the 1920’s.”

There is more, a lot more, but the author obviously buys into that nonsense. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to look like a Prussian officer or, better yet, a  1920’s lesbian? Yeah, that’s a desirable look. It goes perfectly while butchering a pig, which hipsters can do, according to this article, because they all have swine butchering certificates.

I can go on and on, but we’ll move on to this picture from the same NY Times article.

Let's be honest: He looks like a squinting idiot.

Let’s be honest: He looks like a squinting idiot.

The man with the half-glasses above is Jose Vega, who is quoted in the article:

“I got it just to have my own style, bring something new to the table,” said Jose Vega, 23, an aspiring Miami rap musician who can be seen sporting a monocle on his SoundCloud page. “Also, I’m nearsighted.”

# 1: He is actively hurting his eyesight by only wearing a half of a pair of glasses.

#2: He is “bringing something new to the table” by wearing an accessory that thousands of other people are now wearing, and has “his own style” by wearing something that all the other hipsters are wearing.

All this guy and every other monocle-wearing doofus is doing is joining the crowd, not starting a trend, but jumping on a trendy bandwagon. Give Pharrell credit. His hat may make him look like a ranger at Jellystone Park, but at least it is unique. No one else is wearing it, at least for now.

No way, Jose. Your may think your monocle screams “look at me! I’m different!” but all I hear is a small pathetic whine of “I just want to be part of the crowd.”

atwill hipster

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