Tag Archives: fat guy eating cheeseburger

Quarantine All-Stars

22 May

May 23 2020

All of us at GOMALCO Industries care for our employees. You know us the company that brings you such housewares as Mrs. Anderson’s Industrial Nicotine For The Home, Do-It-Yourself Crime Scene Cleanup, Quik Baby Nap Inhalable Sleep Powder, and of course, Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

As part of our dedication to you, our valued consumer assets, we wanted to check in on the Mr. Blog Tepid Team to find out why the heck they have produced nearly no blogs this past year despite cashing their paychecks, those ungrateful  how they are coping with the recent COVID-19 situation.

We first looked in on the Editors and Staff, and assorted hangers on.

We tracked down BMJ2K “fan favorite” Norman Snackmunch. GOMALCO Industries takes no position on his lifestyle, other than to point out that as an at-will freelance employee we will not cover any health-related expenses, such as gastric bypass or an extra-wide coffin.

Another alleged favorite is Greg “Always Hammered / The Hammer” Valentine. As you may recall, he has not changed his facial expression in years.

Has the coronavirus had any effect on this man?

No it has not

Speaking of unhealthy guys who never change, we tracked down Mr. Know-It-All. It wasn’t hard, we just followed the smell.

Of course, not everyone is having a rough time of things.

I HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS!

How about the rest of our crew? Click on the thumbnails for more.

 

Allan Keyes could not be reached for comment.

GOMALCO Industries hope that you are doing well in these trying times. If you are feeling overwhelmed or find yourself in need of some help, please consider our line of GOMALCO Fine Wine And Sanitizer. Thank You.

 

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In Honor of the Great State of Virginia

9 Feb

February 10, 2019

It seems like the state of Virginia is in a state of chaos nowadays.

First, Governor Ralph Northam was found to have posed in blackface in his med school yearbook.

Next, his Lt. Governor, Justin Fairfax, has been accused of sexual assault and rape.

Then, Attorney General Mark Herring, third in line for Governor, admitted that he too had appeared in blackface at a party in the 80’s.

WTF is up with Virginia Democrats?

Allan Keyes was way ahead of the curve. In this post from 2016, Allan takes us back to a time when Archie Bunker appeared in blackface. And as big a racist as he was, even Archie Bunker was embarrassed to wear blackface. 

Thus proving that Virginia Democrats are bigger racists than Archie Bunker. QED.  

From November 19, 2016

keyes
Hey, I’m back!
Now I know, after reading that sentence, several questions come to mind:
-Where ya been?
-Who are you again?
-How quickly till you go away?

Anyway, the other day, Baby Girl Keyes (NOTE: Not her real name) was dressed very fashionably in an outfit that featured pants covered with all of the Disney princesses.

Disney Princesses

Awww…

She was her usual self, racing around as fast as her hands and feet could carry her, yelling like a lunatic (LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER!) when she went very calm and still. Which is never a good sign with her. Well now…turns out the kid took one of those diaper-bursting monster dumps that went all the way up her back and down her legs. But as I help her up to run her to the changing table (read: cardboard box covered in newspapers) the only thing I could really notice was all the faces of those Disney princesses were slowly turning brown.

Ewww...

Ewww…

It was hilarious – all these princesses starting to look like Archie Bunker in blackface putting on a minstrel show. (All in the Family season 6 episodes 14 and 15, Birth of The Baby parts 1 and 2. What, you thought I made that up?) In that episode, his friends at the lodge decided that it would be a great! Really Great! Idea to put on a mistral show.

Archie Bunker, noted racist, archenemy of George Jefferson, he who thought George Washington Carver was our first President’s butcher, even HE knew that putting on a minstrel show and wearing blackface was a bad idea. He was forced to do it or get kicked out of the lodge. And of course, this was the very night that his daughter went into labor so he showed up in the hospital painted and wearing a ridiculous sparkly suit even the Temptations wouldn’t wear. 

 

archie-1

archie-3

archie-4

fat-guy-in-whie-face-reverse-archie-with-balloon

archie-the-fat-black-rapist

blackface-bunker-disapproves

NOTE: These images are, of course, ridiculous, and if anyone is offended, just remember that this is Archie Bunker and if anyone was not a role model and didn’t deserve to emulated, it was him.

Plus, this is a post about baby poop and stains. Don’t look for political or racial discourse here.

But if you do, here’s your takeaway: Archie Bunker is now qualified to be Governor of Virginia.

 

 

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