Tag Archives: shill

American Chopper- Pimpin’ for The Man

4 Sep

September 4, 2021

Mr. Blog is not a paid attorney spokesman, but Paul Teutul Sr. Is.

I used to do recaps of American Chopper every week, eventually live-blogging it as it aired. It’s a part of this blog that I’d rather forget. I am sure that watching that show killed more brain cells than if I had a motorcycle accident. But if I did have a motorcycle accident, I’m sure Paul Teutul Sr.- non-lawyer paid spokesperson – could recommend one.

Or three.

Or five.

How many lawyers does Paul Sr. shill for?

All the lawyers!

Behold the withering glower of Paul Teutul Sr.!

Those are not all the firms I found. I could have gone on and on. They shuffled lawyers in and out of the studio to stand next to the fading physique of Paul Sr., stopping just long enough for Sr. to stand and glower and (probably) call his son “numb nuts” a few times while the cameras filmed a few seconds to make it look like Sr. had some clue of the names of the people next to him.

This says less about Paul Sr. than it does for the lawyers, all of whose firms are not independent at all but part of a legal referral network that sends your case to a local law firm depending on your location.

Paul Sr. has likely not spent more than ten minutes with any of those people. That’s OK, after watching season after season of American Chopper, I can guess that Sr. had a massage appointment to get to.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

John Newly Is Shilling Some Stuff (Lying Awake #8)

10 Apr

April 10, 2015

ANNOUNCER: Lying Awake with John Newly will be back after these words from our sponsor

Hi, this is John Newly and I’m talking with my guest Kai Folger in what may or may not be a commercial since this spot is designed to mimic the sound and format of my talk show. Hmm, I may be violating some FCC rules here.  Kai, great to have you on.

-Hi John, always good to be here.

Now Kai, Carnischleppa has been called the miracle drug of the century. What is it?

– Carnischleppa is simply the world’s greatest plant extract. It’s a miracle cure for almost everything.

Kai, I have a list in front of me of literally tens of thousands of diseases your miracle Carnischleppa pills cure. I’m not allowed to read this on the air in America, but wow, the list is extensive. Is Carnischleppa really as good as you say it is?

– It is John.

Wow!

-There was a time when only the five richest kings of Europe could afford it. In fact, it was so scarce in America that the President had it personally airlifted to the White House by a crack team of commandos so he could try it.

That’s amazing!

– John, we guarantee that when you take Carnischleppa, you’ll get results. Now, I can’t guarantee what those results will be, but you will have results. Guaranteed!

Kai, before I end this hard hitting interview, tell my listeners how to get a free sample of Carnischleppa, the amazing miracle cure that I’ve extensively researched by reading the bogus claims on your website.

-Sure John. You can get your totally free sample of Carnischleppa by sending only $75 to cover postage and handling to Carnischleppa, Los Burritos California, OU812.

That’s a fantastic offer, but my listeners are very hard to convince. I understand you have a special offer tonight just for Lying Awake listeners.

-I do John. For tonight only, your listeners can get a second bottle of Carnischleppa miracle cure pills for only an additional $15, plus another $75 postage and handling.

You heard it here folks! Get your free bottle of Carnischleppa today. Thanks again to my guest, Kai Folger. Kai, I can’t wait to have you on again.

– Thank you John.

miracledietpillforentrepreneurs

.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: