Tag Archives: Mr. Know-It-All

Quarantine All-Stars

22 May

May 23 2020

All of us at GOMALCO Industries care for our employees. You know us the company that brings you such housewares as Mrs. Anderson’s Industrial Nicotine For The Home, Do-It-Yourself Crime Scene Cleanup, Quik Baby Nap Inhalable Sleep Powder, and of course, Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

As part of our dedication to you, our valued consumer assets, we wanted to check in on the Mr. Blog Tepid Team to find out why the heck they have produced nearly no blogs this past year despite cashing their paychecks, those ungrateful  how they are coping with the recent COVID-19 situation.

We first looked in on the Editors and Staff, and assorted hangers on.

We tracked down BMJ2K “fan favorite” Norman Snackmunch. GOMALCO Industries takes no position on his lifestyle, other than to point out that as an at-will freelance employee we will not cover any health-related expenses, such as gastric bypass or an extra-wide coffin.

Another alleged favorite is Greg “Always Hammered / The Hammer” Valentine. As you may recall, he has not changed his facial expression in years.

Has the coronavirus had any effect on this man?

No it has not

Speaking of unhealthy guys who never change, we tracked down Mr. Know-It-All. It wasn’t hard, we just followed the smell.

Of course, not everyone is having a rough time of things.

I HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS!

How about the rest of our crew? Click on the thumbnails for more.

 

Allan Keyes could not be reached for comment.

GOMALCO Industries hope that you are doing well in these trying times. If you are feeling overwhelmed or find yourself in need of some help, please consider our line of GOMALCO Fine Wine And Sanitizer. Thank You.

 

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Sneek Peek: Coming Soon! May 2018

10 May

May 10, 2018

It’s me again, Your Man Inside BMJ2k.com. And let me tell you, it stinks around here. The Editors and Staff constantly leave old tuna sandwiches laying around, and Mr. Know-It-All is still squatting in his office, despite not writing a word a word for the website in months. And with no shower around here, he’s pretty gamy. 

(Well, it’s not technically true that he hasn’t written a word in months. We find his bizarre political screeds scribbled all over the walls of the ladies room.)

But there is content to come! Coming Soon:

Mr. Blog returns to his favorite subject: pizza. Specifically, subway pizza. No, not the sandwich shop Subway, he’s talking about underground trains and pizza. Will the Pizza Rat make an appearance? No.

Mr. Blog also takes a look at sexism and tipping. And he’ll harken back (harken?) to some past experiences chronicled in this very blog to prove his point.

All this and floating specks of contamination, coming soon to Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

 

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