Archive | January, 2016

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, And Has Breakfast

26 Jan

January 26, 2016

Star Wars is back, and in the grand tradition of movie tie-ins, it has its own cereal. But I’m a little confused. Are Yoda and Darth Vader about to square off over a bowl of cereal? I guess there weren’t many grocery stores a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Yoda looks pretty angry. I’m not sure I’d like to stare at that face over my breakfast table. Is he daring me to eat that cereal? This is a little violent for breakfast.

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Maybe it is all just a Jedi mind trick.

But not to be left out, the Trix Rabbit also got in on the act. Here he is, dressed as his favorite Star Wars character.

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He’s dressed as Princess Leia. Not what I would have expected. Is there something we should know about him? Seems like an odd choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I wonder how that box sold down South? “Yee-haw and fry my griddles! I ain’t having no gol-darn cross-dressing rabbit cereal in this house! Where’s my shotgun? I’m going out to shoot me a good old-fashioned muskrat for breakfast. And somebody check the still. I think I saw some revenuers sneaking around.”

Meanwhile, lost and left out of all the cross-promotion, is poor Jar Jar Binks.

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Sephora Can’t Handle Saarah

25 Jan

January 25, 2016

Together, Saarah and I are one of Sephora’s top tweets. Too bad, since we’ve been blasting them online.

I am honored to be among the likes of Seventeen Magazine.

I am honored to be among the likes of Seventeen Magazine.

If all it takes to become a Top Tweet is to call them evil, then they should love my next tweet where I call them satanic devil worshipers. I may be their #1 all-time fan.

It all began as I detailed here, with a bad experience at Sephora on Court Street in Brooklyn. I went with Saarah and we were treated as though we were covered in feces and swastikas (i.e: not treated well at all.) We complained to a clueless “manager” named Gerald who only managed to make us feel as though we were talking to a man who somehow made it through life with only four working neurons in his brain. (Three of them were busy working his mouth, while the fourth was wondering if he just swallowed a fly.) So of course, we did what anyone else would have done. We tweeted our disgust.

twitter crop 1twitter crop 2 atwitter crop 2twitter crop 3Sephora has a crack team of social marketers. They monitor the internet, scour the web, and quickly and personally react and respond to any mention of their product. They put out fires, solve problems, and make customers happy.

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HA! I was just kidding! They have either an automated response system or an idiot working Twitter.

But I am not one to suffer idiots.

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And in case they didn’t get the message the first time:

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My retweet of Saarah’s blog became, briefly, the number 3 Top Tweet at Sephora. As I write this we are still at number 20.

Saarah was also busy tweeting at them.

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Saarah is smart. Much smarter than Sephora. It wasn’t enough to target Sephora. She also made sure to let their business partners and influential makeup bloggers know the score.

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Sephora doesn’t know what they are in for.

 

Saarah can be found on Twitter @Brooklynrants and online at Rants of a Brooklynite.

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