Tag Archives: yoda

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, And Has Breakfast

26 Jan

January 26, 2016

Star Wars is back, and in the grand tradition of movie tie-ins, it has its own cereal. But I’m a little confused. Are Yoda and Darth Vader about to square off over a bowl of cereal? I guess there weren’t many grocery stores a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Yoda looks pretty angry. I’m not sure I’d like to stare at that face over my breakfast table. Is he daring me to eat that cereal? This is a little violent for breakfast.

SW duo

Maybe it is all just a Jedi mind trick.

But not to be left out, the Trix Rabbit also got in on the act. Here he is, dressed as his favorite Star Wars character.


He’s dressed as Princess Leia. Not what I would have expected. Is there something we should know about him? Seems like an odd choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I wonder how that box sold down South? “Yee-haw and fry my griddles! I ain’t having no gol-darn cross-dressing rabbit cereal in this house! Where’s my shotgun? I’m going out to shoot me a good old-fashioned muskrat for breakfast. And somebody check the still. I think I saw some revenuers sneaking around.”

Meanwhile, lost and left out of all the cross-promotion, is poor Jar Jar Binks.







Star Wars Card Trading on eBay: Not Getting Your Money’s Worth

16 Aug

August 16, 2015

People are stupid. They’ve always been stupid. That’s no surprise to anyone who has ever tried to drive down Bay Parkway in Brooklyn. There, the rule of thumb for pedestrians is “there are no cars. None. Bay Parkway is an empty street. Shut your eyes and meander randomly in the middle of the road.” In other words, when driving down the stretch of Bay Parkway that runs from about 65th to 70th streets, you can expect to have to slam on your brakes and swerve out of the way of people who decide, for no logical reason, to cross, stand, stop, or eat lunch in the middle of the street. Walk and don’t walk signs are a foreign (language) concept to most of these people. Red lights? Green lights? Doesn’t matter since no one looks at them anyway. Is it a good idea to stop in the middle of crossing against traffic in the middle of the block to take a sip of your egg drop soup as you step out from between two trucks? No, but it happens anyway.

But as stupid as people are, they are getting stupider. Here’s proof.

Someone will buy these!

Someone will buy these!

There’s an app called Star Wars Card Trader. You can use credits to buy virtual packs of cards that you can trade with other people on the app. Many of the cards are rare or limited. Like real cards, the contents of the packs are random. They cost nothing to buy, though you only get a small number of credits per day. Helpfully, Topps allows you to buy more. But remember, you don’t have to spend a penny and the cards are free.

Most cards range from 5,000 to over a million printed. Some are as few as 50. But recently, Topps came out with a card limited to 10 and the users went crazy, spending all kinds of real money to buy credits to get this virtual card which does not physically exist and has no monetary value at all.

And according to the terms of the user agreement, you don’t really own any of these cards, Topps does, who can delete or revoke them anytime they want.

But people went totally gorilla-balls nuts for this ultra-rare card and you can find a few on eBay for $900 – $950.

Crazy! Who the hell is going to buy these? And I have no doubt they will be bought. What will you do with a card that can disappear as soon as the internet falls apart? Once again, I think the economy must be amazingly strong if people are buying these. Either that or people are getting stupider by the day.

But it gets worse. Topps made so much money selling credits to people who didn’t get the card that they released yet another ultra rare (and ugly) card. And you know what? Despite all the grumbling, moaning, and complaining on the message boards and forums, the users went gorilla-balls crazy and spent mucho dollars on credits again.

Pink Vader? Is he the new Hello Kitty?

Pink Vader? Is he the new Hello Kitty?

If there is a character less suited to pink I don’t want to know. But at least the seller for this one has helpfully allowed you spread your stupidity over six months. This way, instead of one regretful purchase, you can regret it all over again every month when the bill comes in.



%d bloggers like this: