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Tag Archives: New York

Survivor-Man Me?

8 Feb

February 8, 2018

Let me tell you what I was wearing. Not because I think you’ll get a thrill out of it, but because it is relevant to the story.

Blue sweat pants. Brown slip-on Skechers that I say are trendy and Saarah says are not. No socks. An old, thin green worn out t-shirt that is only good for wearing around the house. A winter coat.

That’s quite an ensemble and no, I was not on my to the Queen’s Ball. I was outside throwing out the trash. It was midnight and about 25 degrees outside. (That’s degrees Fahrenheit, not that Celsius nonsense. Celsius is just a scam perpetuated by the big mercury conglomerates to make us buy new thermometers.)

Does the dude in this stock photo look cold? He just looks creepy to me.

I walked around the side of my building to where the garbage cans are and put my trash in one of the already full cans so that my bag was precariously balanced atop a mountain of who knows what. I’m pretty sure that my building’s super empties these cans once in a while, but then again, what do I know? They never seem to get any emptier. (Yet they never get any fuller either. Maybe he empties just enough to keep the status quo.)

So, mission accomplished, I was walking back around the building when there was a gust of wind and I realized just how poorly I was dressed for the weather. Good thing I was only going to be outside for a minute or two and had a warm home to go back to.

But what if I didn’t? What if I were homeless?

Dressed as I was, was I prepared to survive a night of sudden homelessness?

I was already feeling a chill in my toes and since I wasn’t wearing socks my feet weren’t particularly comfortable to begin with.  So if I was forced to spend a night outdoors, braving the elements, how would I handle it?

My first worry was about frostbite. My hands I could jam in my jacket pockets, but with no socks my toes were an obvious frostbite target. I could probably tear up my shirt and wrap my feet in the cloth, then jam them into my shoes. But then I’d be shirtless (calm down ladies). Well, I was wearing a winter coat so I could zip it all the way up. My head was bare and my jacket didn’t have a hood. Maybe I could save some of the ripped t-shirt to wrap around my head like a bandanna to protect my ears from frostbite. Nothing I could do about my legs. The wind blew right through the sweatpants.

I had to face the fact that I was barely dressed to survive the minute and a half I’d be out in the winter, there was no way I’d survive overnight.

It was one thing to toss out the trash dressed that way, but I’d have to prepare better if I were to live outside.

If I were ever really homeless, I’d somehow make my way down to Florida. It’s much easier to be homeless in the winter laying on Miami Beach than it is here on Coney Island Beach.

That’s the life!

Being homeless on the beach does have some perks.

 

 

 

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Super Bowled Over

5 Feb

February 5, 2018

The ironic part is that New York wasn’t even in the Super Bowl.

The article reads, in part:

Solomon Chu, a 37-year-old Flushing, Queens, underwriter, was walking through the lobby of his Manhattan office last week when he saw a life-sized poster of the pretty-boy New England Patriots Super Bowl quarterback on the wall.

Thinking it was some Beantown prank, he, as any proud Jets or Giants fan would, ripped down the poster and tossed it in the trash.

Little did he know, he had just fumbled away his career. The next day he was hauled into the HR office of his company, National Debt Relief, and confronted about “destroying” Tom Brady. Turns out the poster had been placed on the wall by none other than the head of HR herself, Joanne Murray, who happens to be a huge fan of the Patriots — and Brady.

“Did you think you were going to get away with this?” Murray asked, according to Chu, while confronting him with the damning surveillance video.

Chu immediately began to grovel.

On Wednesday, after four months on the job, the HR bosses pulled a Belichick and fired him.

“They . . . told me I was leaving due to the Tom Brady incident,” said Chu.

While the article never explicitly states it, the real reason he was fired was likely destruction of property. This poster was in the lobby of his office, a public space. It is really no different than if he trashed a lamp he didn’t like or threw out a chair. It wasn’t his to destroy. I don’t think he deserved to be fired over it but he was definitely in the wrong.

However, the woman who put it up was clearly trying to be provocative. That poster has no place in the public lobby of a debt relief office. In her own office, sure, in a non-public part of the office, that’s fine. But a place where your customers enter? Totally unprofessional.

What Chu should have done was leave the poster in place, then file a complaint with HR for creating a hostile work environment. What New Yorker wants Tom Brady staring him in the face at work?

It could have been worse. At least it wasn’t Bill Belichick.

Of course, since the poster was put up by the head of HR this guy was screwed anyway, but at least he could have kept his job.

Football fans sure are passionate. Too bad Solomon Chu didn’t display the wisdom of Solomon.

Meanwhile…

I hope this gives Mr. Chu some consolation as he files for unemployment this morning. 

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