Tag Archives: Magnum PI

If I Won The Lottery

31 Jan

January 30, 2014

If I won the lottery, for millions of dollars, maybe 500 million of them then I’d buy a house, buy my mom a house, quit my job, buy a solid gold toilet, yada yada yada, all the usual stuff people say they’d do. Sure, I’d pay off my credit cards, invest in the stock market, ride a hippo in the Kentucky Derby, all the usual things people do when they become filthy stinking rich.

But that’s not my dream.

I’d speed down the highway. wind whipping my hair, enjoying the envious stares of the other drivers, as I zoom past them in the coolest car in the world.

The Batmobile.

Batmobile

There is NO COOLER CAR IN THE WORLD.

Sure, I considered other cars.

  • The A-Team van? Too enclosed. No one would see whooping and hollering.
  • Magnum’s Ferrari? (OK, Robin Masters’ Ferrari.) Very cool, but still just a Ferrari.
  • KITT? Only if I could use the turbo boost to jump over traffic.
  • The General Lee? Not without shooting dynamite arrows out the window, and that might get me into too much trouble.
  • And The Millennium Falcon? Not technically a car.

And if I were driving the Batmobile, I would finally have a legitimate reason to wear a cape.

 

I’d drive the Batmobile down the highway just to see the look of envy on every other driver’s face. All those mooks in their Hyundai’s and Ford Fairlanes, drooling over the Batmobile, wishing they were me, wearing my cape, zooming down the highway, with somebody dressed as Robin in the front seat, or maybe just a classy escort I rented for the day (hey, I’m rich!) I’d get the whole thing on YouTube, it would go viral, and I’d do it again the next day. Unless it was raining. There’s no top on the Batmobile. That’s why Batman never fought crime in bad weather, and you just know that if it rained and he opened up an umbrella, it would be one the Penguin’s rigged explosive umbrellas. 

Oh yes, to be rich. I can just picture it now.

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That could be me! What a great Batman I’d make. OK, I’d probably break a lot of traffic laws and definitely wouldn’t stop any crimes, but my dream isn’t to tangle with the Riddler, it’s to zoom down the highway in the Batmobile. So you can take you other lottery dreams (flying to the moon, buying an island in the Pacific) and forget it. I’ve got you beat.

 

bmj2k batman

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Classic TV Crossover: Magnum P.I. and The A-Team

23 Jan

January 23, 2013

One of my favorite shows is Magnum P.I. I put it in the top tier of detective shows. There’s Columbo, Magnum, Kojak, then everyone else.

So I was watching it the other night and it occurred to me that, with only a slight twist to their backstory, the man characters of Magnum could easily have become The A-Team. They were in Viet Nam, they were a highly trained team. What if they were assigned to the classified job that fell to the A-Team? Magnum, Rick, and TC could be on the run.

This led me to thinking about what should have been a no-brainer: a Magnum P.I. and The A-Team crossover. It was amazingly obvious- the A-Team is spotted in Hawaii where they’ve taken a job and Thomas Magnum ends up working the same case. The army goes after the A-Team but mistakes Magnum and his crew for the criminals. Just look at the similarities. Think about it for just a second, it is screamingly obvious.

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Magnum tough guy2

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Magnum warrior2

Magnum van2

They could even have had Lance LeGault play a dual role.

Magnum nemesis2

While it seems so perfect in retrospect, it had nil chance of ever being made since they aired on different networks. (Magnum was CBS, A-Team was NBC.) Too bad, because it practically writes itself: Face pulling a scheme in the King Kamehameha Club, Magnum in the Aquamaniac suit, and I’d love to see Higgins tormented by Murdock. Just imagine them drugging BA to get him into the Island Hopper’s chopper. I am not much of a fan of fanfic so this is as far as I’ll go. I think this is one of the great unmade shows of television. Magnum crossed over with Simon and Simon (remember them?) and even with Jessica Fletcher on Murder, She Wrote. Neither of those crossovers screams “event.”  I can only imagine how excited I would have been had this actually happened back around 1985.

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