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Men’s Important Announcements

10 Jul

July 10, 2018

Some families send out year end Christmas cards that list all the family member’s accomplishments over the past twelve months. Little Timmy got straight A’s in math, daughter Linda got engaged, Mom and Dad finally took that trip to France, things like that. Sometimes during the year they’ll even send out little notices, like Cousin Mikey getting his first Boy Scout badge or to announce the newest member of the family, a pet chihuahua named Waggles.

But what if men sent out notices for the things that are really important in their lives? The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride think one such announcement may read something like this.

It is with great pride and satisfaction that Mr. Ralph Hornberger announces that he has moved up from the center toilet stall to the stall on the right.

Mr. Hornberger had been headquartered in the center stall for the last six years, after making the move from the left-hand stall in 2012, following the departure of Mr. Archer of the accounting department. 

The rightmost stall, which features a triple toilet paper roller and newly installed insta-flush system, became available when Ed Rosen moved to a stall in the newly opened sixth-floor men’s room, which is nearer his office. 

Mr. Hornberger shares this proud moment with his wife, Belinda, daughters Stacy and Melissa, and son Thomas, whom Mr. Hornberger hopes will one day follow in his father’s footsteps and occupy the rightmost stall himself.

 

 

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Men: What’s Wrong With Us?

15 Jun

June 15, 2018

In my last post, I asked a question about a quirk of female behavior that just didn’t make sense to me. Today, in the interest of fairness, I pose a question about men: What’s wrong with us?

I present the following sign, which I found taped on a men’s room door in the building my office occupies.

To make matters worse, that bathroom had been cleaned not half an hour before.

Seriously, fellow men, what’s wrong with us?

 

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