Tag Archives: Golden Globes

Ricky 1, Caitlyn 0

14 Jan

January 14, 2016

ricky vs caitlyn

Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Gobes and the internet is on fire- ¡en fuego!– about it. And whose socks are in a tizzy? The usual easily-offended crowd.

“OH MY GAWD! HE MADE A CAITLYN JENNER JOKE! I AM GOING TO GO ON THE INTERNET AND COMPLAIN! TRANSGENDERPHOBE! HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!!! BOYCOTT! CENSOR! KILL HIM! AND OH YEAH HILLARY 2016!” – Totally representative sample tweet

Calm down, settle down, put down those pitchforks. Let’s read the joke, shall we? For many of the loudest whiners, this will be the first time.

“I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously … now Caitlyn Jenner. What a year she’s had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything, can you?”

WHOA! A transgender joke! This is 2016! How un-PC! How… how… wait a minute. Do you see that?

It’s not a transgender joke at all! It is a joke about Jenner’s bad driving. It has nothing to do with his/her gender. In fact it compliments her on breaking barriers.

In the end, it is just a cliché joke about bad woman drivers.

And isn’t that the ultimate acceptance? Caitlyn Jenner is now the butt of a tired old, stereotypical bad woman driver joke.

Meanwhile, I’m sorry for assaulting your eyes with that awful (and totally not transphobic) picture of Caitlyn Jenner. To make up for it, here’s Katy Perry.

perry

 

 

 

Michael Jackson vs. Russell Crowe: This Is Real

4 Apr

April 4, 2015

Russell Crowe: Hollywood A-list actor best known for his crankiness.

Michael Jackson: Music superstar best known for, well, you know.

I am not making this one up. Russell Crowe may be making this one up, but I am in no position to challenge him. (And if I were, I still wouldn’t do it. I am not crazy.)

According to Crowe, he was the victim of prank calls for years, all perpetrated by Michael Jackson. I’ll let the New York Post (our motto: “Sure, whatever, we’ll print it.”) take it from here:

rm12

The only thing in that article that raises a suspicious note is that Michael used “a strong voice.” I imagine that even your average castrati could muster a stronger voice than Michael Jackson.

“Do you have Prince Albert in a can? OOOOH! Just kidding, this is Michael!”

Am I the only one who imagines Russell Crowe acting just like Moe from the Simpsons? “Listen up Michael, when I catch up to you I’m going to rip your lungs out of your anus!” Then he pulls the phone out of the wall and throws it out the window.

entertainment-film

However, I am happy to say that the story gets even better from here. I’ll let the New York Daily News (our motto: “buy us for our pretty ads.”) continue:

rdm2

Russell Crowe has just jumped to the top of the list of people I’d like to have dinner with. This guy has all the best stories.

I really want to know what his fake name was. It couldn’t have been “Mr. Big Pants.” That’s me.

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