Tag Archives: Katy Perry

Ricky 1, Caitlyn 0

14 Jan

January 14, 2016

ricky vs caitlyn

Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Gobes and the internet is on fire- ¡en fuego!– about it. And whose socks are in a tizzy? The usual easily-offended crowd.

“OH MY GAWD! HE MADE A CAITLYN JENNER JOKE! I AM GOING TO GO ON THE INTERNET AND COMPLAIN! TRANSGENDERPHOBE! HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!!! BOYCOTT! CENSOR! KILL HIM! AND OH YEAH HILLARY 2016!” – Totally representative sample tweet

Calm down, settle down, put down those pitchforks. Let’s read the joke, shall we? For many of the loudest whiners, this will be the first time.

“I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously … now Caitlyn Jenner. What a year she’s had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything, can you?”

WHOA! A transgender joke! This is 2016! How un-PC! How… how… wait a minute. Do you see that?

It’s not a transgender joke at all! It is a joke about Jenner’s bad driving. It has nothing to do with his/her gender. In fact it compliments her on breaking barriers.

In the end, it is just a cliché joke about bad woman drivers.

And isn’t that the ultimate acceptance? Caitlyn Jenner is now the butt of a tired old, stereotypical bad woman driver joke.

Meanwhile, I’m sorry for assaulting your eyes with that awful (and totally not transphobic) picture of Caitlyn Jenner. To make up for it, here’s Katy Perry.

perry

 

 

 

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Taylor Swift’s Top Ten Crazy Demands

4 Oct

October 4, 2014

1235479-taylor-swift-woman-of-the-year-617-409

 

Taylor Swift’s Top Ten Crazy Demands

According to this article, Taylor Swift has been making some crazy demands of her limo company. Here, in no particular order, are her Top Ten Crazy Demands.

1- Limo drivers are not allowed to talk to Taylor Swift. This includes these phrases:

  • Hello.
  • Please fasten your seatbelt.
  • Oh my god that truck is going too fast!
  • Are you OK?
  • Blink twice if you can hear me.

2- All radios within 50 feet of Taylor Swift must be electronically altered so that they cannot play any music by Harry Styles.

3- Anyone allowed to speak to Taylor Swift may not make eye contact. They should instead make eye contact with a target which an assistant will hold up approximately 3 feet behind Taylor’s left shoulder.

4- There should always be 3 boxes of tissues on hand at any time for use after a messy breakup.

5- Any person in the same room as Taylor Swift for no less than 15 minutes will be considered to be in a relationship with her and may be the subject of a song.

6- All persons are forbidden to mention Mr. Blog or Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride in Taylor Swift’s presence.

7- Anyone spotting Jake Gyllenhaal must, without regard to personal safety, rush over to him and punch, hit, or kick him hard enough to make him cry, just like Taylor Swift did after he took her virginity and then didn’t even show up for her birthday party.

8- Do not immediately call for medical aid for Taylor Swift if she goes into convulsions. She may just be trying to “shake, shake, shake it off.”

9-Taylor Swift may only be photographed with professional lighting and a personally picked photographer. If none is available, a well-known portrait painter represented in the Louvre may be substituted.

10- In the event that Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are in the same room, please provide Taylor Swift with a private room for her to tweet nasty things about Katy.

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