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Amos And His Last Stand

13 Aug

August 13, 2021

Before we begin what may be our last Amos adventure, an explanation is in order.

One thing I never do in this blog is lie. Everything I say happened, actually happened. I may exaggerate, I may highlight or downplay certain things, and I certainly write for comedic effect, but if I say something happened, it happened. And if I say something was said, it was said.

But for this particular blog, I am going to present, completely unaltered, and in his own, exact words, a story about Amos, by Amos, from an official report turned in on a case by Amos.

What I will present are pages 8, 9, and 10 of a ten-page report. Pages 1 – 7 and half of page 8 are irrelevant to this story, concerning a case he was working on and which I of course cannot present. The last paragraph of page 10 is also irrelevant, being specific case issues.

The background is that Amos was investigating an alleged accident where someone claims to have fallen down a flight of stairs. He was accompanied by the super of the building, whose name I have changed to Orson. Orson had been an obstacle, angry and uncooperative, even obstructing the investigation since it appeared that this accident may have also exposed a little scam Orson had going on the side. The events below happened just after the official part of the investigation had ended.

I remind you that the paragraphs below are part of the official case file of this matter, subject to subpoena and legal scrutiny at any time.

As our story begins, Amos is looking at Orson’s cell phone, trying to figure out how to email a video to the office….

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PAGE 8

I looked hard at the phone trying to see if I could do anything, but it was hard to figure out even though I’ve done plenty of email forwards as our office knows.

I then said OK, we’ll figure something out and we agreed on rescheduling his interview for another day. I then thanked him for his time, extended my hand in a handshake, and Orson left me like that for a good long while and he finally said, “we’re good.”

However, before I left, he asked if I wanted to use the bathroom which I really had to do. He then went down a corridor some 40 feet turned on the bathroom light,

PAGE 9

came back and said go ahead. I then went to the bathroom and finished doing number 1. I turned about to leave the bathroom and tripped and almost fell due to a plastic soap bottle on the bathroom floor on the side by the door. When I left the bathroom, I left the bathroom light on otherwise the corridor would be too dark to navigate.

On the way back I thought to myself not to mention this as I didn’t want to make an issue of it with Orson’s attitude. However, when I got back to the kitchen area, Orson walked past me not saying anything and went back down to the bathroom, thinking he maybe wanted to spot the bathroom light.

It turned out Orson came back with that plastic soap bottle (he must have heard me tripping) gave me a nasty look and went to the sink to rinse off the bottle. I then told him I didn’t want to make an issue of it but now told him I tripped and almost fell over that soap bottle that was on the bathroom floor.

PAGE 10

Rather than expecting an apology, Orson had the nerve to ask something smells and did I take a krap? (sic) I said definitely not, only did pee pee, flushed and that’s all. I was really taken aback!

Feeling quite upset, I felt I had the right to ask Orson friendly but firmly, is there a problem? He wouldn’t answer and said again leave. Not wanting any confrontation, I said nothing further and left! I really don’t know what Orson’s problem is, embarrassing me and insulting me like that!

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I repeat, that’s an official report.

The 5 Memes of Christmas Day 3: Crankiness

11 Dec

December 11, 2020

The 5 Memes of Christmas is a series running every Friday this month until the unveiling of the bmj2k.com Annual Fonzie Christmas Meme. Each week we will spotlight a Great Moment in Santa History from Classic TV. The theme for week three: Crankiness!

That’s Phil Foster in the hideous Santa throne above. You’d be cranky too if you had to sit in that thing while sticky kids with sticky fingers covered in goo pawed your lap and pulled your beard.

Can’t get enough of Phil Foster sitting in a chair? When Mr. Blog was a kid in Brooklyn this commercial ran all the time, where a seated Phil Foster yelled at us until we bought furniture. Watch him as he nearly slides out of his chair with fury:

What’s not fear love? That’s what made Laverne and Shirley such a hit. You never knew when Frank DeFazio would throw a gasket and smack a man right in the Pizza Bowl.

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