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Should I Be Worried About Alec Baldwin?

8 Nov

November 8, 2021

Poor Alec Baldwin. He’s “inconsolable,” he’s “hysterical,” he’s so distraught that he and his family have recently been seen house hunting and drinking expensive latte in Vermont coffee houses. His wife has been so miserable that she has been posting happy family portraits on Instagram of Alec and the kids playing in the snow.

Poor Alec! He must feel so terrible since he, you remember, recklessly killed a woman in cold blood.

Poor poor man! On that movie set, he was handed a gun, and all he did was check to see if it was loaded, no I mean handle it safely with his finger off the trigger, no that’s not right, he aimed a gun at a human being and pulled the trigger. Yeah, I think that’s what I mean.

Oh, sad Alec! I know how horrible this made you feel, and I know how upsetting this must be, and yes, this is all very traumatic for you.

Of course, there’s a dead woman whose family won’t be spending the holidays with her, but hey! Buck up, buddy!

When did Alec Baldwin become a victim and not a victimizer? He’s a Producer on that film. He is one of the people responsible for the overall safety on that set. The buck stops with him. And of course, he carelessly, recklessly, and very, very stupidly aimed the gun at another human being and pulled the trigger. On top of not checking to see if it was loaded. He broke every rule of gun safety and common sense.

But cheer up, pal! The media is rallying around you, Alec! They are printing stories of how this has affected you, of how you are never going to be the same. They are rooting for you, Alec old boy!

Hey, that dead woman will never be the same either, but don’t despair, Alec! Everyone loves you Alec Baldwin!

You goddam asshole.

Should I be worried about Alec Baldwin? Only if he has a gun in his hand.

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Amos’ Moment of Terror

12 Jul

July 12, 2021

Amos: I didn’t know where I was!
Me: But you went-
Amos: Then the lights went out!

Amos comes to the office once a week, every week, for as long as he has been working for the company. He has been working for the company for better than two decades.

Amos has had some issues with the fax machine my boss bought him.

Amos: I sent it back to the manufacturer.
Me: Didn’t it come from Amazon?
Amos: It came in the mail.

After exhausting every effort to get the fax machine working, my boss finally faced the reality that he was fighting a losing battle. He printed out the return free shipping label from Amazon and asked Amos to pack up the machine and send it back to Amazon.

Amos took it to his neighborhood Staples, where they boxed it up and shipped it to Cannon, for $32.75.

Amos: It was the right thing to do.

With no fax machine, it was more important than ever to get his email working. He had somehow blocked me so neither I nor our general office account (also blocked) could reach him. I found out today that he also blocked our other supervisor and the boss. Amos had blacklisted the three most important people in the office.

I found the directions to remove the blacklist. I told Amos it would probably take me a few minutes.

Amos: Can you take your time?
Me: Sure.
Amos: I have to go to the bathroom. I might be awhile.
Me:
Amos: I’ll bring my phone.

Amos had not returned after awhile. I was not sure how long but I had finished the email and moved on to other work. Then:

Amos: I got lost!
Me: Where did you go?
Amos: I went to the bathroom.
Me: Our bathroom?
Amos: The lights are on a timer. They only give you 15 minutes.

Amos explained that he was in the bathroom when the lights went out. He did not know what to do. Amos explained that after he completed his business, he slowly opened the stall door. Amos did not want to hit his head on the door, he said, so he turned with the door and closed it. But now he was turned around.

Amos: I was afraid to move.
Me: Shouldn’t the lights have come back on? There’s a motion sensor.
Amos: I moved so slow I guess it didn’t see me.

Amos, in closing the stall door, had spun himself around and did not know if he was facing a sink, a stall, or a wall. He felt for the wall and then made his way along it, feeling along inch by inch, until he found the door and escaped the 8′ by 10′ room.

I tested Amos’ email before he left. We are all still blocked. The problem must be in his phone, not the account settings on the sever. Amos is now effectively unemployed until he gets this problem solved. He’ll probably buy a new phone.

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