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Seinfeld 2017

31 Jan

January 31, 2017

Wondering what George and Jerry are bickering about these days? Wonder no more. It’s…

800px-seinfeld_logo-2017George: Hey, didn’t you like my joke?
Jerry: What joke?
G: The one I texted you last night. About how Barack Obama’s dog gets the Secret Service to keep other dogs away from his fire hydrant?
J: Oh yeah, it was funny.
G: You thought it was funny?
J: Yeah, not bad, Georgie Boy.
G: (annoyed) So where was my emoji?

george-1

J: Your what?
G: You didn’t send me a smiley face. You didn’t even LOL.
J: Oh come on!
G: Yes! Yes! If it’s funny you’re supposed to send an emoji. That’s what you do. If you like something you send a thumbs up, or a smiley face. If it’s funny you write back LOL or maybe send a gif of a laughing monkey.
J: Why would I do that when I’ve got a laughing monkey right here?
G: (angry) You owe me an emoji Jerry!
J: I don’t send out emojis that easily. Your joke was barely a chuckle. It wasn’t emoji-worthy.

jerry-shrug

G: This is not how the internet works! People send all kinds of emojis. Kramer sends emojis all the time!
J: Oh, Kramer! He doesn’t know an LOL from an ROTFL!
G: You owe me an emoji Jerry!
J: And you owe me $235 for my drone you crashed last week trying to see the Giants for free.
G: (contrite) Let’s call it even.

george-costanza-jerry-seinfeld

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My New Career As An Assassin Starts Now

28 Jun

June 28, 2016

007 blog header

I received this unsolicited email yesterday. It got past my spam filters so it must be legit, right?

info (stina@furumon.lby.se);silvio_escobar@mail.com

Dear candidate,

We have a job in your area and we would like you to participate and complete the assignment.

Job Description :
1. You will receive funds for the task.
2. You will receive instructions for the task you via email in the location and details of the task.
3. You must complete the task as quickly as possible and quietly.

Once you sign up you will access to training materials and consederation.

The assignment will give you $200 per job of 2 assignment a week.

Provide the following information below if you interested:

1. Full Name :___
2  Your Address :___
3. Citys / States / Countrys :___
4. Zip Codes :___
5. Phones :___
6. Ages : .___
7. Gender :___
8. E-Mail :___

Thank you for participation. Your response would be greatly appreciated.

Best Regards,
Kenny Miller
Official Recruitment

There’s no company name and no description of the job. It came from a foreign server and refers to a “task” which must be done “as quickly as possible and quietly.” 

I think they want me to kill someone. I think I am being hired as an assassin.

Career change!

007 blog

______________

FYI- that’s the real email, with the real sender’s information at the top and the real errors and misspellings. If you are interested in either becoming an assassin or having your identity stolen, contact them at your own risk. Tell ’em Mr. Blog sent ya!

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