Merry Christmas! If you grew up in the heyday of 1-900 numbers, you know you could call up a hotline and hear a special message from such luminaries as Hulk Hogan or Grandpa Al Lewis, hear a Hanukah fable, or listen to lots and lots of simulated sex. (Hey, before the internet, pre-recorded phone sex at $2.99 a minute was all we had.)
But none of them beat 1-900-909-RAPS, Santa’s Rap Hotline.
So pick up the phone, sit back relax and listen. Kids before you dial get your parent’s permission!
Hi kids! Sorry I’ve been away so long, but things are busy as ever at chez Keyes. Wife. Kids. Diapers. Poop. Not to mention the kid’s diapers and poop. OK, I’m kidding. I’m not that old, I just feel that way.
The other day I was doing research on the internet trying to figure out why I’m not one of these new bitcoin millionaires. I’ve narrowed it down to the fact that I have no idea what a bitcoin is or how to get one.
But I did find THE BEST PICTURE EVER! It appeals to EVERYONE!
TRUMP SUPPORTERS: See? He’s not a racist. TRUMP HATERS: See? He’s a HUGE racist! TRUE RACISTS: HA! Look at that #$*(ing &%# in the hat! WWE FANS: That’s The Reverend Slick!
In case you don’t know who Slick is, take a look at this, his official music video, Jive Soul Bro:
That picture of Trump may not change your mind about him but I think we can all agree that the WWE ought to be ashamed of itself.
I’ll end with some of my patented bad Photoshop featuring my favorite foodie:
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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