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Tag Archives: Hillary Clinton

Chance Encounters in Time and Space, Episode Three

29 Apr

April 29, 2016

chance encounters in space

Tonight: Doctor Phil Meets Sigmund Freud

Doctor Phil: Oh gee whiz, I must have got lost walking backstage after the show. Robin? Where are you? Whoa, too many burritos, I think, this fog is pretty thick. What’s that? Footsteps? Hello? Hello! I can see you but I must be hallucinating! Doctor Sigmund Freud! Golly doctor, wow, you were such an influence on me as a young man, ho boy, this is an honor.

Sigmund Freud: I have seen your program. (Punches Doctor Phil in the nose.)

phil black eye

COMING SOON: Hillary Clinton meets a pack of hungry leopards while wearing a meat-flavored pantsuit

 

 

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Make Donald Trump Great Again

27 Feb

February 27, 2016

You may not have heard, but Donald Trump is running for President. He hasn’t revealed his pick for VP yet, but I suspect it’ll be him too. Somehow he’ll figure out a way to be his own Vice President, because if one Donald Trump is good, two is great.

The idea of a Trump presidency has a lot of people excited. Take that any way you like.

But one group that loves LOVES the idea of President Trump is late night shoppers. I was watching the knife show on TV the other night (or morning, take your pick, it was about 4 am.) This is a show in which a guy who just walked into the studio sells knives that he knows little about.

“This knife has a wood handle. Looks like teak. Maybe that’s maple. But it’s solid, I’ll tell you that.”

This was their 90 second special. It was the second time I saw this for sale in the past week (yes, I have insomnia) and both times it sold out faster than Hillary Clinton to a special interest.

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Yes, that is the Donald Trump knife. And no, it is not an official campaign product. So on the one hand, I’m sure that the capitalist in Trump would love it, but on the other hand, the egomaniac in Trump would hate it since he’s not getting a cent from it.

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My favorite part of the whole thing is the picture they choose. Look at the scowl on Trump’s face. If he becomes President, I hope that’s what his official portrait looks like. That’s a very Presidential scowl, much like FDR had when confronting Mussolini. Maybe.

Not only does this knife say “I support Donald Trump,” it also says “I’ll cut you if you don’t.” Nothing will make America great again like pulling this knife on an illegal immigrant.

 

 

 

 

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