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Dudes In Space!

12 Sep

September 12, 2018

It’s totally time to start a new space adventure!

 


The Time: The future. Way, way in the future, like when you get an estimate on how long it’ll take them to paint your house and it goes way past the estimate and they are charging you for like rags and stuff. What’s up with that? So yeah, that far in the future.

The Place: Space. Somewhere like in a nebula or something. Or a black hole. Whichever is cooler, take your pick. Maybe Underwater? Nah, space.

Super Space Guy Hunk Blockcheese strides across the bridge of his spaceship. It’s really awesome with lots of expensive bling. He stops near the navigator, Callie Fornia, and flexes. He’s like got a crush on her and stuff but he’s too much of a wuss to tell her, so after a couple of minutes he goes to the gym to oil his pecs.

Meanwhile, somewhere else far away, maybe on a planet or a moon or something, there’s this evil guy all covered with tats. He has like a real mad on for Hunk Blockcheese because of something that happened in high school. It was totally his mom’s fault for always buying him those cheap department store pants. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Blockcheese comes back from the gym, all pumped up. He sits in his chair and wants to know like where they are, you know, with coordinates and things like that. He’s trying to sound all professional and stuff because he thinks Callie Fornia likes those kinda guys.

This spaceship also has robots too, and they can fly.


 

Like wow! This is going to be … good?

 

 

 

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American Chopper 2018: Welcome Back?

4 Mar

March 5, 2018:

 

Well. I finally got around to watching the new season of American Chopper. You can’t call it a new show, or even a return, because it is EXACTLY the same as before. It is as if absolutely nothing has changed since this show last aired six years ago, except that Mikey has trimmed his mop and is now working for Sr. I guess they made up. Senior still has his shop and yes, Monkey Boy Jason Pohl is still there. Even Rick returns to OCC in this episode, in what had to be a made-for-reality-TV moment. 

And that was always the problem with this show, and likely will still be. It seems totally fake. Nothing rings true. Teutul Sr and Jr signed contracts for a new show, so this was obviously in the works for a long time. And of course the cameras are rolling in OCC when Sr decides that, despite not working with Jr in ages, he should give him a call and ask for help. Good thing the cameras were there! And somehow, just by coincidence, Rick Petko is free to return to OCC just when Sr needs him. Good thing the cameras were rolling! And somehow, an old bike both Sr and Jr worked on together pops up in Paulie’s shop. Good thing the cameras were rolling! No, no, I’m sure nothing was set up beforehand when all parties involved signed contracts. I’m sure this was all spontaneous, right? RIGHT?

There’s not much to believe here, and unless Paulie and Senior get into shouting matches, I’m not sure what the appeal of this show is. It wore out its welcome years ago. 

Two things I did like:
1- Senior saying that business is down. Yep, so far down he’s in deep legal trouble.
2- Mikey reading the script over one of Sr and Jr’s blow ups. That added a nice touch to a clip we’ve seen a thousand times before.

The show ended with a short package of things to come this season and yes, they destroy stuff for no reason. Wow, what wild men.

 

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