Tag Archives: sale

Make Donald Trump Great Again

27 Feb

February 27, 2016

You may not have heard, but Donald Trump is running for President. He hasn’t revealed his pick for VP yet, but I suspect it’ll be him too. Somehow he’ll figure out a way to be his own Vice President, because if one Donald Trump is good, two is great.

The idea of a Trump presidency has a lot of people excited. Take that any way you like.

But one group that loves LOVES the idea of President Trump is late night shoppers. I was watching the knife show on TV the other night (or morning, take your pick, it was about 4 am.) This is a show in which a guy who just walked into the studio sells knives that he knows little about.

“This knife has a wood handle. Looks like teak. Maybe that’s maple. But it’s solid, I’ll tell you that.”

This was their 90 second special. It was the second time I saw this for sale in the past week (yes, I have insomnia) and both times it sold out faster than Hillary Clinton to a special interest.


Yes, that is the Donald Trump knife. And no, it is not an official campaign product. So on the one hand, I’m sure that the capitalist in Trump would love it, but on the other hand, the egomaniac in Trump would hate it since he’s not getting a cent from it.


My favorite part of the whole thing is the picture they choose. Look at the scowl on Trump’s face. If he becomes President, I hope that’s what his official portrait looks like. That’s a very Presidential scowl, much like FDR had when confronting Mussolini. Maybe.

Not only does this knife say “I support Donald Trump,” it also says “I’ll cut you if you don’t.” Nothing will make America great again like pulling this knife on an illegal immigrant.





Imponderable #118: CVS

6 Dec

December 6, 2013

This is an update to a post from October. First the original post, then the Imponderable Update.

from October 10, 2013

Check this out.


Reminder: Please check expiration or “best by” dates prior to purchasing.”

The CVS closest to me has these signs peppered all over the store. Even, and this is true, in the greeting card aisle. (There’s nothing worse than buying a Christmas card and finding out it expired on Easter.) This was apparently prompted by the fact that the store is full of expired items. No joke, I mean that. I’m not just talking about the last box of corn flakes sitting way back in the rear of the shelf. I bought a bottle of soda that had just been packed out on the end of the aisle, right near the registers, and when I opened it I found that it was flat and the expiration date was three months ago. And this was just put out for a big sale!

These signs are an admission that they put out expired stuff. They really should say “Warning! We put out expired food and if you are dumb enough to not look at the expiration dates, then too bad for you, sucker.” Instead of making sure that their items are fresh and their products have not expired, they are putting the onus on YOU to make sure that you do not buy stale stuff. 

OK, I can understand taking this little precaution. After all, I check expiration dates on everything I buy as a matter of course. I don’t trust stores not to put out expired goods. But unlike CVS, most stores do not come out and smugly admit that they sell expired goods. 



Just a couple of days ago, on or about December 3rd, my girlfriend and I bought a couple of bottles so soda on sale at CVS. They had tons of them, packed out in the aisles because the sale was good: All Coke was 2 for $1. Soda is never that cheap. We bought some bottles and got home and she noticed that the soda tasted funny. Sure enough, it had expired November 25th. Now that really isn’t too long ago, and the soda didn’t go bad, but it tasted funny. So she called up the Coca-Cola hotline and complained. They took her information, the store’s information, the batch number on the bottle, and promised to get in touch with the store. They did not sound happy that CVS was selling old soda. My girlfriend has a very nice mean streak at times, so she called the manager of CVS to very smugly tell them about the expired soda and that Coke would be getting touch with them. Sure enough, Coke was right on it and a regional CVS manager was calling her this morning. She didn’t pick up, just let it go to voicemail. Coke, for their part, emailed her a ton of free soda coupons and a letter of apology.


The question is Imponderable. Imponderably stupid.

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