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Imponderable #135: Attack Of The Gay Baboon

6 Jul

July 6, 2017

If the news coming out of Africa is to be believed, it is a dangerous part of the world.

There are more, and I haven’t even mentioned the giant poisonous snails. So with all this in mind, read this next story and perhaps reconsider your travel plans.

click to enlarge

Gay baboon? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The issue here isn’t the baboon’s sexuality at all. If he’s happy then good for him. The problem is that he is sexually assaulting humans. And that’s an important point because it brings us to the Imponderable.

From the animals point of view, is sex with humans bestiality?
The question is Imponderable.

But no, no, we are not done with this story, not by a longshot. Because this is also:

The baboon has given all its victims anal cancer. That’s extraordinary! Sexually transmitted cross-species cancer!

So to recap, going to Africa may put you in danger of having your penis and/or panties stolen, running across a formerly dead hooker, losing your finger to an enchanted ring, encountering poisonous giant snails, and getting sexually transmitted simian anal cancer.

The African tourism board didn’t mention any of that!

 

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5 Responses to “Imponderable #135: Attack Of The Gay Baboon”

  1. bmj2k July 6, 2017 at 12:14 am #

    YES! This is the last of the blog’s I previewed in my May preview. Way to go me!

    Like

  2. Mac of BIOnighT July 6, 2017 at 9:02 pm #

    I wonder if all those things could happen one after the other to the unwary tourist? ;-P

    Like

  3. Mac of BIOnighT July 9, 2017 at 10:04 pm #

    I keep thinking about this article about the baboon (which goes to prove I don’t have much to think about, I suppose), because my mind keeps linking it to something (true) that I read a couple of years ago. That was about some dogs being able to smell tumoral cells, thus being able to diagnose people. Now, there might be a bit of truth in this thing about the people that were diagnosed with cancer. Seriously (yeah, I know, it’s difficult to be serious after reading this article, but let’s pretend it’s all true for a second), maybe this animal, too, can smell tumoral cells, and for some strange reason he feels compelled to do what he does… What if this was some instinctive way to cure tumors among baboons because, maybe, baboon sperm contains some anti-tumoral substance? Yes, it sounds even more far-fetched than the article itself, but something in my head keeps saying this might be a possibility, though how remote I couldn’t say…

    Like

    • bmj2k July 9, 2017 at 11:04 pm #

      I’ve read many stories about both cat’s and dog’s ability to smell tumors or disease and I believe it. So going by your theory article is backwards. The baboon sex is considered the cause of the anal cancer when really the victims already had it and the baboon was trying to cure it. Not sure I buy it but I love the idea!

      Like

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