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Tag Archives: Cyprus

Imponderable #137: Turn In Your Man Card

3 May

May 3, 2018

A son’s school note penned by his father has gone viral. Check it out!

 

Dear Mrs. Field.

     Sean tells me that you have confiscated his sweater. He tells me that in class he conforms to the school uniform. He was absent from school on Monday because he had a cold, so traveling on Wednesday without his sweater was not too clever. 

     He told me that the jacket he wears normally is acceptable, but it was stained, therefore he could not wear it. His mother was in Cyprus last week on a break and I, unfortunately, was not able to use the washing machine. Sean was too embarrassed at having a father who cannot use a washing machine to say this.

     Anyway my point is: Isn’t this just a little bit petty? Life’s hard enough.

 

And the internet loves it! Wow! What a nice dad, he seems so sweet!

Really? Seems like a jerk to me.

First of all, his son broke the dress code and he has the nerve to accuse the teacher of being petty?

(And what young boy cares if his jacket is stained? When I was a kid you had to pry my Spider-Man t-shirt off me. It had stains from meals I only vaguely remembered eating but I still wore it because I loved it.)

Second of all, his wife was away “on a break”? She was probably on a break from her marriage based on…

Thirdly, what kind of a man can’t figure out a washing machine? OK, maybe you aren’t sure which cycle to use, but A- turn it on B- pick a setting, any setting, C- add water and detergent, D- go watch TV and drink a beer. 

This guy can’t use a washing machine and I’m sure he can’t change a burnt out fuse in the basement, fix a flat tire, bandage a wound, or anything else you’d expect a man to be able to do. This is not a man I’d trust with my life. I wouldn’t trust him not to spill his lite beer when he’s watching the WNBA.

And he had no problem writing about it! He thinks he’s funny!

His son was embarrassed at having a father who can’t use a washing machine? I’m sure there’s a lot more he can be can be embarrassed for his father about.

I’m sure his wife is on a break in Cyrus, on the beach, with another guy.

What father is proud of the fact that he can’t use a washing machine? 

The question is Imponderable.

 

.

 

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More Snappy Answers To Newser Headlines, Again

13 Apr

April 13, 2015

Hi gang! And I mean that literally. A big “hi and hello” to the Satanic Ugnaughts, a biker gang in Muncie Indiana. Their leader, Big Stan Satan, writes me every week. Unfortunately, I can’t share any of his comments, they may incriminate him. Anyway, here it is, another installment of Snappy Answers To Newser Headlines. As usual, the last time I did this, I was swamped with responses!

“Cease and desist.” -Newser
“Cease and desist.” -Abrams and Smith, attorneys for Newser Inc.

And here are the newest headlines. I can’t wait  to read your raves!

n1

“Russia Hackers Had Access to Obamas Schedule”

The White House has now given more Presidential access to the Russians than it has to the Republicans.

n2

“Dr. Andre Van Der Merwe says patient’s life was ‘just Hell'”

Sure, but imagine the poor Doctor, having to explain to people what he does for a living. “I’m a penis transplant surgeon!” Well, at least he has piles of cash to console himself with.

n3

“Kansas Bill: No Welfare Cash at Movies, Psychics”

What, no more welfare money for psychics? Someone should have seen that one coming.

n4

“Judge: Go Ahead, Serve Divorce Papers on Facebook”

Why not? It’s probably the cause of the divorce anyway

n5

“Rare Black Flamingo Seen In Cyprus.
It’s hard to miss among its peers”

Minutes later it was shot by the police.

Cyprus Black Flamingo

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