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American Chopper- Pimpin’ for The Man

4 Sep

September 4, 2021

Mr. Blog is not a paid attorney spokesman, but Paul Teutul Sr. Is.

I used to do recaps of American Chopper every week, eventually live-blogging it as it aired. It’s a part of this blog that I’d rather forget. I am sure that watching that show killed more brain cells than if I had a motorcycle accident. But if I did have a motorcycle accident, I’m sure Paul Teutul Sr.- non-lawyer paid spokesperson – could recommend one.

Or three.

Or five.

How many lawyers does Paul Sr. shill for?

All the lawyers!

Behold the withering glower of Paul Teutul Sr.!

Those are not all the firms I found. I could have gone on and on. They shuffled lawyers in and out of the studio to stand next to the fading physique of Paul Sr., stopping just long enough for Sr. to stand and glower and (probably) call his son “numb nuts” a few times while the cameras filmed a few seconds to make it look like Sr. had some clue of the names of the people next to him.

This says less about Paul Sr. than it does for the lawyers, all of whose firms are not independent at all but part of a legal referral network that sends your case to a local law firm depending on your location.

Paul Sr. has likely not spent more than ten minutes with any of those people. That’s OK, after watching season after season of American Chopper, I can guess that Sr. had a massage appointment to get to.

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The Applicant

28 Aug

August 28, 2021

You think your problem is that your sink is backed up, but maybe all you really need is a back massage.
Garbage cans full? A relaxing bath may be in order.
Graffiti on your billboard? Aromatherapy.

My company is hiring, and we are getting a lot of candidates. Here’s a resume that really stood out:

I AM EXTENSIVELY EXPERIENCED IN PORTER, MAINTENANCE POSITIONS FOR 6 YEARS, ALSO WITH A 2 YEAR EXPERIENCE IN MASSAGE THERAPY. I HAVE WENT TO STRIVE FOR MY GPRO CERTIFICATION IN FUNDAMENTALS OF BUILDING GREEN AND OPERATION ESSENTIALS ALSO IN MY CAREER PATH ACHIEVING MY EXTENDED PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE THERAPY DIPLOMA. I HAVE WORKED GREAT WITH OTHER AND CUSTOMERS IN MY CUSTOMER SERVICE AND MY ABILITY TO BE TO BE BILINGUAL IN BOTH ENGLISH AND SPANISH I HAVE RECEIVED ACHIEVEMENTS IN MASSAGE THERAPY LIKE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH TWICE IN A ROW ALSO TWO BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE AWARDS, ALSO IN PORTER I WAS RECEIVED THE PROMOTION OF SUPERVISOR POSITION FOR MY GOOD LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND CONNECTING WITH THE WORKERS MAKING ALL JOBS WELL DONE.

I have no doubt this may be the best massaging porter out there, but we advertised for investigators.

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