February 2022 News Roundup

6 Feb

February 6,2022

I have only one story this month, but it is very important and may save your life.

I had just finished reading a very important article about Kim Kardashian’s cellulite world peace in the New York Post mobile app (their motto: “We’ll Send You Alerts On Whatever We Want”) when I got to the end of the article, the bottom, where all the clickbait articles are, and I saw this:

Mayonnaise? Not on the list.

Good thing I did! I spit out the bite of weed killer sandwich I was about to swallow because maybe weed killer is one of the three deadliest poisons I never, ever, want to ingest. Now I may be willing to take my chances with the fourth or fifth deadliest poison (and number 10? Ha! I laugh at you, great-tasting arsenic) but the top three? Hey, momma only raised one idiot, and she tells me I’m not it, despite being an only child. I’m not messing with one through three.

But the article begs the question, which deadly poisons do I want to ingest? Are there many poisons that it is OK to ingest, or at least not bad? If I had a hankering to drink a glass of toxic snake venom, is that wrong? Should I not do that? Could I have a slice of delicious salmonella?

Well, I’m sorry, but the world may never know since I never did click on that link. I was too busy trying to find out if that’s Peter Dinklage in the Beastie Boys No Sleep Till Brooklyn video.

.

2 Responses to “February 2022 News Roundup”

  1. Skippy H March 16, 2022 at 11:40 am #

    Hiya Mr. Blog.
    I found your page while telling Mr. Google that Hardcore Pawn is pathetic and I have to say I’m glad I did and thank you so much because I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.
    I was especially happy to hear that your momma only raised one idiot and you’re not it even though you are an only child.
    (BTW you owe me for one keyboard, laptop type, Acer brand on account you made me spit laugh my soda all over my now mortally wounded AcerSodaKeyboard 🙂 )
    And as to your question….definitely yes, that IS Peter Dinklage in the Beastie Boys video…if you look carefully you can see the 42 boxes he’s standing on.

    Like

    • bmj2k March 17, 2022 at 2:18 pm #

      42? I only counted 38. I have to go back and look harder.

      Like

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