American Chopper: Impasse

26 Nov

November 27, 2012

Keep checking back as the show goes on for updates!

American Chopper (Season 9)
PJD’s 911 Memorial Bike is in more hot water than they thought. The pranks leading up to Chopper Live rev up and Sr. and Jr. hit a snag when the production bike discussions open old wounds.

Read that again. That description is why I am thrilled this show is being cancelled, for good I hope.) They cancelled it once before but brought it back as Sr. vs. Jr.)  The pranks leading up to Chopper Live rev up. They are building the show around the stupid, fake, and totally stupid pranks leading up to Chopper Live. From feedback I’ve seen, that is the part of the show everyone hates. They could have built a whole show around the Memorial Bike. Back in the day they did just that. Shows were- hold on to your hats- about building bikes! Pranks were secondary, not a focus of the show.  With the drama around 9/11, Hurricane Sandy, and the destruction of the Memorial Bike, there is potentially a whole month of shows. But they are wasting one of the last few episodes on pranks, pushing Jesse James and Fast N’ Loud, and  ignoring the fans. But that is the usual thing for this show.

“I’m a real-life industrial designer!” BWAH HA HA! Jason! He said that!!!!! I can’t wait to see that fool take on Junior.

But I will have to wait as the show starts with OCC building some sort of beat-up car (“more rivets!”) to make fun of Paulie ahead of the build-off. It was not funny. Compare that to Paulie, who when we first see him is building a motorcycle. You remember motorcycles, those things OCC used to build? (“It is definitely the most creative thing I’ve seen from OCC in the last three years.” – Paulie, on the OCC prank car.)

Then it cuts to Senior meeting with his attorney. I won’t belabor the point I have been making for weeks, but one scene has nothing to do with either the previous scene or the one that comes after.

Meanwhile Rick, the only sane man at OCC and Vinnie, the only sane man at PJD, got together to just talk things out, from Vinnie’s meeting with Senior to the whole production bike mess. The show aired a clip from the past, when Paulie and his father were fighting in the shop and who was doing all the work in the background? Rick and Vinnie. The two men agree on one thing- the whole project is a bad idea that is getting worse.

The 9/11 bike is very rough condition, every time they look at it they find another problem. It is going to have to be broken down, engine and all, to every single nut, bolt, and gear. Salt water is a corrosive, and if you never saw salt water damage, you would not believe what it could do. It might almost be better to make a new bike.

“Any parts that move, don’t move any more.” -Vinnie.

Paulie got a call from the Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo. “Hi Andrew,” he said. (BTW- this was a 30 second segment sandwiched between two large commercial breaks. Sigh.) But back to my point, where was the respect? They had obviously spoken before, and I am sure that at some point the Governor said “call me Andrew” but still, no “Hello Mr. Cuomo? Hello Governor?” PJD is going to the Hurricane Sandy zone to hand out much-needed supplies.

So while PJD is working on the Memorial Bike, OCC is at a place that builds shingles, fooling around in sheds, trying to blow each other over. Was it fun? For them, sure. For the viewers? No. And it was less fun, but much more stupid, when they set off a bomb in one of the sheds. You know what else it wasn’t? Impressive.

Barely mentioned last week, either here or on the show, is the fact that the OCC B-squad, a couple of guys we never saw before, are working on a bike for the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. The new guys fit right in- they come off as goofs. The bike isn;t getting much attention and is being done on the cheap. The Venetian is not getting its money’s worth.

At 9:44 Senior went to Jason to complain about Paulie- as usual- and asked Jason to design a logo. That is bound to make Paulie angry. And can you blame him? With all the problems of the production bike- which as yet is not even designed on paper- a logo is probably on the lowest end of the spectrum. At this point who cares? Design a bike first! But this move is CLEARLY designed to anger Paulie. And that is the old Senior coming out.

It’s 9:52, the show is almost over, it must be time for that big Jason Vs. Paulie fight they teased, right? Right?
No. It is time for more commercials!
What do I always say? They leave the only good parts of the show for the last 5 minutes. You can skip the entire show but as long as you see the last few minutes you’re fine.

9:56, finally, here we go.

Paulie, Senior, and Jason had a meeting where no one could agree on what they had already agreed on. Paulie was trying to be nice to Jason, but Jason took offense at something Paulie said about not making drawings. He argued a little but backed down, as he should. He has no dog in that fight. Paulie walked out- and maybe he was wrong- but Jason was being a jerk and looking for a fight.

Best line ever? “I’m a real-life industrial designer!” Oh Jason, you are so full of yourself. We saw his process tonight- A lot of people come up with ideas, then he draws a picture. We’ve seen years of how realistic his bikes are, so case closed.


10 Responses to “American Chopper: Impasse”

  1. DBJohnson November 27, 2012 at 12:05 am #

    So glad I turned cable tv off a year ago. The depths to which this show has sunk is mind-boggling. You hit the nail on the head with your analysis.

    Four shows left? Sounds like someone just needs to put a bullet in the head of this leg-broke horse.


    • bmj2k November 27, 2012 at 12:10 am #

      Three left, but it is really only one regular episode followed by the two-part build-off. And that’s fine by me, this show has just tired me out.


      • M.Lawrenson November 27, 2012 at 2:12 am #

        Ever seen the BBC sci-fi series Blake’s 7? I think this show can only end with everyone involved shooting each other, ending with a final shot of Paulie, legs astride the disastrous collaboration chopper, aiming a gun straight down the camera at the Discovery crew.


        • bmj2k November 27, 2012 at 8:22 am #

          That chopper can only be a disaster, right? But my money says it never gets built.


  2. Rachel Dalmation November 27, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    1. About the only interest left in the show is to see how Paul 1’s thought processes work, and how little he knows about his sons. Paul 1 is repeating the same process that drove Paul 2 away in the first place. He’s now at the lawyer stage. The only way a production deal could have worked between these two is if they had sat down at the beginning and worked out what features (frame, motor, wheels, etc.) that customers would want in this economy. Then based on the general specs for the bike, the two Pauls would agree that PJD would design and market the bike and OCC would produce it and distribute it. PJD would get a royalty on each bike sold, and the new company would pay PJD the going rate for advertising and marketing. To me, it’s stupid to try to sell a production bike in this economy. Probably the most marketable effort would be to take a standard production bike and customize it to be high performance and tricked out by PJD.

    2. The infomercial in the middle of the show for that shingle company was so bad it was actually pretty good camp. I wonder if they used a Big Ass fan. Most roofing companies make a similar product these days. I kept waiting for an off-screen announcer to say, “But wait there’s more. You can get a second roof for the same low price. Just pay shipping and handling”.

    3. When Vinnie and Rick met, Vinnie was wearing a Skilcraft t-shirt instead of a PJD shirt. My hypothesis is that everybody wears what they want to when not on camera. The company T-shirts have become something of a conformist uniform for those who build on-off, custom bikes. How ironic.

    3. The show’s producer’s have given Jason the dumb, clueless role on the show. The sort of “sikekick” role that Smiley Burnett and Pat Butrum used to play for comic relief in the old B westerns. Chumlee plays a similar role on Pawn Stars. The difference being that Chumlee is probably pretty smart. I think Jason is really as clueless as he appears on the show. I think Paul 1 set him up for the stupid logo confrontation with Paul 2. It’s hard to tell whether this scene was a reality TV setup with everyone in on the gag except Jason. Or whether Paul 1 is so sociopathic he set the confrontation up by telling the industrial engineer to design a logo. The industrial engineer’s true skills were shown by his complete inability to design a logo without “brainstorming” with Paul 1.

    4. I would be willing to bet some hard yankee money that OCC goes belly up after the show goes off the air. Companies aren’t going to pay for custom bikes without the advertising they get from the show. And who wants to eat in a chopper theme franchise cafe with a cookie cutter menu?


    • bmj2k November 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

      – “Infomercial” sums it up perfectly. Wish I thought of it.
      – And speaking of t-shirts, I thought that maybe the PJD logo would grow on me but it hasn’t. I didn’t like it at first, don’t like it now.
      – I’ve always thought that Chumlee was (a little) smarter than he acted. A lot of what he says seems to be simply for the camera. But Jason? That’s all him. I have no idea who came up with the idea to thrust him in the middle of things but Senior has always (clearly, I think) treated Jason like his new favorite son and getting him in on this mess is Senior’s way of showing off his replacement Paulie. And that sequence when he drew a bike, with the rock music in the background? What a joke.
      – A huge part of getting a bike from OCC is the promotion they get on tv. No tv, no promotion, no orders.

      I never get into the inner workings of the show but I am really interested to know how much power Senior and Junior have behind the scenes.


  3. Wmsbrum November 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    Why does PJD have all the finished motorcycles in their shop? I thought they build them for other people…


    • bmj2k November 27, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

      Yeah, that shop was pretty crowded.


  4. hyperbole77 November 29, 2012 at 10:46 pm #

    Why is that idiot Jason part of any conversations between Sr and Jr? He’s driving a wedge between them by acting like an ass every time Jr is brought up or brought in. He clearly fears Jr and puffs up like a nervous lizard in his presence. He’s also blowing up what fragile relationship remains between Father and Son.


    • bmj2k November 29, 2012 at 11:13 pm #

      He’d there, I believe, because Senior wants him there. Senior really seems to treat him his new, “good,” son.


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