I’m Gonna Hit You, Sucka!

26 Nov

November 26, 2012

You’d think a poster this good would have a decent movie attached, wouldn’t you? Well you’d be wrong. BADLY wrong.  This film sucks, and the less said the better. But it DOES serve as a vehicle for a semi-awkward segue….

What it did however, was put me in a mood to see some real sucker punches. This one here is the current internet champion:


 “I DON’T CARE! YOU WANNA BE A MAN? I GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE A MAN!”  WOW.  Now I don’t hold with hitting women but that was some amazing uppercut. The last time you saw something like that Drago was killing Apollo Creed. Worldstarhiphop.com is a great site full of many fun videos in this vein. Highly recommended.


2)      EPIC FLAIL!

This was another famous one making the rounds for awhile. EPIC BEARD MAN totally whups butt here starting at 1:45. Why was that guy trying him out anyway? It was obvious that old or not, Mr. Beardman was going to be a problem for anyone stupid enough to get into it with him.   And he’s quite the celebrity. He’s been thrown out of busses, restaurants, even the Oakland A’s game.  But who’s gonna step up to him? You? I certainly won’t.



Come for the policeman laying the most resounding slap you’ll ever see and stay for the hilarious commentary by Opie and Anthony, and the late Patrice O’Neal.  (Warning, mild profanity).  This represents one of the most hilarious, spontaneous takes Patrice ever had on the show.

The takeaway is that cops in other countries are not ones you want to mess around with. And when one is giving you the thousand-yard stare, you better be ready to duck.

Oh Patrice…..RIP. You’re sorely missed sir.



You gotta be drunk to want McNuggets THAT badly. The last time I flipped out in a McDonalds at least I had a justified reason – they gave me a Quarter Pounder instead of a DOUBLE Quarter Pounder!  Unfortunately, Grimace and the Hamburgler came out and subdued me.


5)      McFIGHT – ROUND TWO!

This one is just low. A “grown” (physically if certainly not mentally) man swinging at a teen girl ½ his weight. On the plus side, he certainly gets the job done. On the minus side, he’s certainly not going to be served any faster now….



…..Do I really need to comment?


Now because you sat through all of that, here’s an early Christmas present for you.  You’re welcome!

5 Responses to “I’m Gonna Hit You, Sucka!”

  1. zathra November 26, 2012 at 12:27 am #

    Sounds like ” Stone Cold E.T. ” maybe smoked a joint or 2 – or something – before putting on his mask & going through the drive through. Giving new meaning to Stone or stoned. 😉


  2. T E Stazyk November 26, 2012 at 3:11 am #

    OMG. Really restores my faith in human nature.


  3. ssrijana November 26, 2012 at 4:54 am #

    superb 😀 ET video 😛


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