Tag Archives: Fast N’ Loud

American Chopper: CHOPPER LIVE! (PART TWO)

11 Dec

December 10, 2012

Check THIS OUT for the Part One recap!
Keep checking in as I will update this as the show progresses.


build off

OCC built- finally!- a bike this time. Too bad it isn’t that great a bike. Senior and his monkey-hybrid son Jason were too busy making up lousy pranks than to come up with a good bike. It is an overbuilt, undersized monstrosity.

PJD did what they usually do, and that is why the will likely win.

Jesse James built his bike nearly from scratch- points for that- but took two weeks too long- take those points back. At the end of the day it was not worth the wait.

Fast N’ Loud build a bike. A nice, basic, cool bike. But American Chopper fans like what Paulie does and the FNL bike will be too plain for them. BTW, they named their bike Fred.


chopper live logo

Tonight we are live from Las Vegas!

Your host… Sal Masekela. Who? Whatever.

Paulie gets introduced simply as “Junior.” The crowd goes nuts.
Fast N’ Loud gets introduced. The crowd goes a little less nuts. Richard Rawlings looks like he went Hollywood years ago.
Senior gets introduced simply as “Senior.” The crowd gave him a mixed reception.
Jesse James got introduced to more boos than cheers and they teased that he wasn’t even there, but he was.

Sal Whoever said the big question was if Jesse could overcome the haters for the win. I’d rather see if Senior can do that. Anyway, there is yet a second vote tonight- the other three teams will get to vote if Jesse James gets to compete or gets disqualified for missing the deadline. He’ll get voted in, no drama here.

If you saw part one, take a trip to the kitchen as they are showing a video package right now, mostly stuff you heard last night.

No, Sal Masekela is not the guy who plays Darryl on The Office. That’s Craig Robinson.


Last night Jesse offered to tutor Paulie. Tonight Paulie offered to tutor Jesse so he can make a deadline. Jesse’s response? “I got no answer, you got me.”

Allegedly a fight broke out between the FNL guys and Jesse. The FNL guys had no comment on stage, but Jesse said “BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP,” which is what he usually says.

I think the funny thing is that Jesse, Senior, and the FNL guys keep stressing it is a bike building contest. This is the American Chopper audience and, many smart commenters on this blog aside, the majority of American Chopper fans treat this like a popularity contest.

Senior looked at the FNL bike and asked “What is it?” I wanted to yell out “a real bike!”
Aaron: “Senior looks a lot bigger on TV.”

Senior gave some criticism of the FNL bike but Aaron schooled him, and about time. Bottom line: He rode the bike thousands of miles to Vegas, Senior’s bike came on the back of a truck. His is made to ride, Senior’s is made to put a smile on Jason’s goofy face.

Senior’s bike was introduced and Senior had a lot more applause than last year. Of course, it helped that he went for the cheap pop (“this is made in America!”).

Senior and Junior, together on stage, were a lot more natural and playful than we’ve seen in a decade. And speaking of playful, this may be my last chance to run this picture of Senior, which ran in one of my Celebrity Apprentice blogs:


Meanwhile, it is time for Lynyrd Skynyrd!
He pretty much just went through the motions.

Then they had a recap of the ten years of American Chopper and reminded us that there is ONE MORE episode of Chopper next week. No description yet, but the title is “The End.” From the looks of the commercials it appears to mostly be a clip show.

And now it is time! Time to find out if Jesse James gets eliminated.
Paulie voted no.
Senior voted no.
Fast N’ Loud voted no.

Or, I should say, Discovery said no. Jesse stays in.

Meanwhile, it is 10:12. The Build-Off is coming to a head!

But first more Skynyrd.

And now a sneak peek at Discovery’s new show, Amish Mafia.
Yes, you read that right.

And now more commercials!


10:25 and we’re back!

Second Place: Fast N’ Loud!


See you next week for the final Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride Weekly Rundown!

American Chopper: CHOPPER LIVE! (Part 1)

10 Dec

December 10, 2012

Keep checking in as I will update this as the show progresses.

For the (next to) last time…

build off

chopper live logo

Chopper Live: Road to Revenge – (American Chopper Special)
Competing to build the best bike, Junior, Senior, Jesse and the Fast N’ Loud guys bring their unique designs to life. But relentless trash talk and ridiculous pranks raise the stakes and threaten to knock everyone off course

TWO HOURS tonight of “relentless trash talk and ridiculous pranks.” OH BOY! When people ask me why I don’t like the show that way I used to, that’s the answer. I can’t even complain that it stopped being about bikes, that happened a long time ago.

Despite being called “live,” this show is not live. Go figure. Tomorrow night is live.

 Jesse James- no chance.
 Senior- has a chance if A- he builds a bike this time around and B- the fans have been fooled into having some sympathy for him.
 Fast N’ Loud- I think the new guys might win in a sort of passing the torch moment.
 Paulie- will probably win again.

Senior is taking it seriously and building a motorcycle, and when I hear Jason say things like “it saves us both time and money” I remind you of my prediction: he’s the next OCC boss, mark my words. Senior loves him like the son he always wanted.

Meanwhile, it seems like Jesse James is in everyone’s head, since every other team has been talking about him. Yet, and I’ll say it, Jesse James continues to come across like a total ass. The less of him the better.

PJD is doing a classic car theme, from the 1930’s or 40’s. The logic is they want to beat the other guys at their own game- FNL (easier to type that way) predominantly works on cars and Senior owns dozens of classic cars.

FNL wants to build a real motorcycle, a Harley, without the bells and whistles or extra aftermarket stuff, just a bad ass, real bike.

Jesse James said some stuff too, but he talks slowly like he is always stoned so I tend to tune him out.

So after a segment of PJD working on their bike, we get a OCC prank segment. Sigh.

Future OCC boss Jason calls Senior to his office because he wants to prank the FNL guys. Yes, the bike “drawer” called the boss off the floor to make  prank call. Meanwhile, for all their trash talk, the FNL guys have tried to, largely, be above the nonsense.

Meanwhile, if the twitterverse matters, it seems that the tweets (picked by Discovery, so take this with a grain of salt) running at the bottom of the screen seems to be in Paulie’s favor.


One thing I will say about Jesse, when he isn’t being an idiot, he talks bikes like we never heard on this show. I wonder if, honestly, given the exact same parts and tools, Senior could do what he does.

Senior is building what looks like a, at least from the drawing they showed, stretched out futuristic thing which, and I am calling it, is a loser.

Then we get a FNL vs. PJD prank battle with each imitating the other.

It is now 9:50 and this has more or less been a pretty average episode of American Chopper, but then I realize that I don’t have ten minutes left, I have an hour and ten minutes left.

OH, the Jack Reacher sneak peek! While I have never read a Jack Reacher book, everyone I know who has expects Tom Cruise to suck. I expect that too, simply because I have no respect for his acting.

The OCC bike is turning out to be overdone, overdesigned, overdetailed, just too much. I like the FNL and Jesse James ideas of just doing a real bike, really well.

Hearing Senior and Jason call the FNL guys “Stupid and Stupider” is hysterical, especially considering this:

I started this post by complaining about the lack of bike building over the last few years. Ironically, despite all the dumb pranks, there has been a ton of bike building on this show, mostly by Jesse James.

Meanwhile, the more I see Paulie’s bike, the more I agree with Jesse James and FNL. The bike isn’t looking much like a bike, it has so much non-bike, non-necessary afterthoughts that I am leaning toward FNL over Paulie, although their bike has a ton of pink on it.

Meanwhile, give Fast N’ Loud credit. They were the only guys to finish their bike on schedule. Jesse James needed another two weeks, OCC was going to have to forego an important part of their build, and PJD wasn’t finished either, although they rightly felt that if the had extra time, they’d like to had it earlier in the process. Everyone got two more weeks, which rightfully upset the FNL crew.

Senior took the finished bike out for a ride, and you can vote however you like, but it looks like an overgrown toy. Fail. Of course, that isn’t what OCC is good at, it is lousy pranks, which is what they moved on to next, blowing up dummies of the Fast N’ Loud guys. Or not. They really didn’t explode very much. These pranks are getting as old as Senior.

Jesse James ended up doing the opposite of what he kept saying he would. It is a weird-looking thing that does not look like a normal bike. Senior built an overgrown toy. Paulie built a nice looking bike that is all style over substance. My vote goes to Fast N’ Loud for making a clean, real, bike.

Chopper Live: The Revenge – (American Chopper Live Special)
Senior, Junior, Jesse James and the Fast N’ Loud guys compete in a rematch of the ultimate bike build-off.  You voted.  Now find out the results in a live throwdown hosted by Sal Masekela at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas

Who is Sal Masekela?

According to wikipedia, “Selema MabenaSalMasekela (born August 28, 1971) is an American television host, sports commentator, actor, and singer.”

Skip ahead to 2:49 and watch to 2:55 in this clip to see my reaction.

Oh no they didn’t.

Discovery just advertised ONE LAST episode of American Chopper for next week. One more time, one more time. I swear I thought the Build-Off was the end!

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